Our deal is done and sealed.

JR & DW:

I suggest dueling banjos as in the movie “Deliverance.”

Maybe they would use shotguns at 20 paces?

I waive any and all rights to royalties as long as I can use your “bounced more times than a basketball in March Madness” line.

That one is priceless.

Double darn. I didn’t know that or I would have certainly given citation. I already owe you royalties I could never pay as it is.

I actually used the Magic Eight Ball on a December thread:

http://jonathanturley.org/2007/12/05/supreme-court-hears-important-product-liability-case/

I was hoping someone would suggest the magic eight ball.

1) Mouse Races. Each disputant has a mouse. The mice race on an agreed upon track. The winning mouse carries the day for its owner’s claim. Looser must also pay for mouse kibble.

2) Cranial Bump Measurement. The disputant with the largest nodule above the Lobe of Justice, wins the dispute! The smallest bump owner, goes to the Correction Farm!

3) Wager of Battel. Courtesy of Bob, Esq. Nerf-clubs on pogo-sticks. Winner take all.

4) Eiger Winter Diretissima. Both parties must climb, unroped up the Nordwand of the Eiger. He who reaches the top first, proves his claim.

5) Quarterly Report of Delinquent Reports Reports. He who can fill out the paperwork correctly is adjudicated deserving of victory. The loser is incarcerated in the House of Non-Sanity.

This suggests the richness of the nonlegal alternatives to the present system. Gentlemen, start your mouses!

Professor DW Pumperflugel
WSNU (Mercury Business Schools, Inc)

Perhaps you would prefer a society that settled disputes in the streets. If you really want to provide something constructive, why not tell us your concept of resolving disputes between people and other legal entities that does not involve lawyers, judges and courts. Mankind’s been trying to resolve this dilemma since we first gathered into societies, and now that we have your thoughtful insights (as reflected above)I am sure that the problem can be solved. Fire away. We are all awaiting your wisdom.