Correctional Fluid: Omaha Drunken Driver Tries to Hide Intoxication by Drinking White Out at Station

In Omaha, Nebraska, Juan Briceno had a sudden flash of brilliance. Before the police administered his breathalyzer, he downed a bottle of Wite-Out on the officer’s desk. It turns out that white out does not affect the alcohol in your system. It does, however, turn your tongue and lips white. The video is linked below.

Briceno needed all the help that he could get. His blood alcohol level was .287, or three-and-a-half times the legal limit. This is also his fourth arrest for drunk driving. He still insisted in a jury trial and was found guilty of driving while intoxicated.

Notably, the Wite-Out site proclaims that its product “covers the toughest mistakes.” It further proclaims “Our four different correction fluids are custom-blended to deliver the benefits that users demand most.” Sheer puffery, it turns out. That leads to the question of false advertising in Briceno’s case. This is one tough mistake that it proved utterly useless in correcting.

For the full story and video, click here.

5 Responses to “Correctional Fluid: Omaha Drunken Driver Tries to Hide Intoxication by Drinking White Out at Station”


  1. 1 Jill 1, July 28, 2008 at 7:59 am

    Yes, the white-knight did not come to his rescue this time.

  2. 2 Jill 1, July 28, 2008 at 9:25 am

    I get this now. Just read Wine Dictator magazine. White out has recently become the new pino-blancho. It has hints of industrial cesspool, along with an amusing undertone of lighter fluid. The aftertaste is nothing short of spectacular. The guy may have been drunk but he knew a good vintage when he saw it.

  3. 3 rafflaw 1, July 28, 2008 at 10:48 am

    Jill,
    I think that this white out braniac is probably a future Republican presidential candidate. Or maybe McCain will name him as his Vice President. He has similar qualities as “Brownie” and George W. and Turd Blossom.

  4. 4 Jill 1, July 28, 2008 at 11:49 am

    rafflaw,

    You will like this. The Red State update guys were pontificating from their bunker about the disparate coverage last week of Obama and McCain. There was something in their video about, “what were we supposed to do, watch McCain finesse a bowel movement”! Isn’t that great?

    Jill

  5. 5 BARTLEBEE 1, July 28, 2008 at 1:42 pm

    All I can say to this story, is,

    :D


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