Crying Foul: Man Sexually Assaults Chickens on Television to Attract Women

hansi-chicken-molester-1Nothing like a German to teach one how to woo a woman. A bachelor farmer and nudist named Hansi has sexually assaulted chickens on live TV to impress possible female companions. PETA and animal rights activists are crying foul.

Hansi is 71, but participated in a TV program where men tried to get female contestants interested in them. Most presumably go for the standard sweets and roses approach as opposed to poultry abuse. He explains on TV: “Hansi is always happy when the chickens are happy.” I simply cannot imagine why Hansi is a bachelor.

It did not seem to work with contestant Marianne, 66, who noted “You always hear jokes about what lonely farmers do to their animals. I am disgusted. This is not my world.”

It is a bit odd that buggering chickens is allowed on German television. In the United States, even a wardrobe malfunction is verboten. Then there is the small problem of abuse of animals on live television, which also does not appear a serious issue in the controversy.

For the full story, click here.

7 Responses to “Crying Foul: Man Sexually Assaults Chickens on Television to Attract Women”


  1. 1 rafflaw 1, December 15, 2008 at 7:53 am

    I think this guy will be remaining a bachelor for a long, long time if this ishis idea of attracting women. Yikes! I feel sorry for the chickens. This is one sick German. Should he go to a Shrink or a veterinarian for help?

  2. 2 Sally 1, December 15, 2008 at 8:19 am

    Oh wow….what a way to turn on a woman!

    That’s just creepy

  3. 3 Jill 1, December 15, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    I always liked Mike Myers as “Dieter”. Would you like to touch my monkey?

  4. 4 Bob, Esq. 1, December 15, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    I believe the Peabody award winning show ‘South Park’ had an episode dealing with this issue.

    Particularly amusing was Eric Cartman’s portrayal of ‘the authoritarian mindset.’

  5. 5 steadycat 1, December 16, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    I watched the video and all I see him do was rub the top end of the chicken’s back. What is all the fuss about?

  6. 6 Buddha Is Laughing 1, December 17, 2008 at 8:09 am

    What I want to know is when exactly does nailing a chicken go from “are you out of your damn mind?” to “hey, baby, peck here often?” I’d like to see that logic tree.

  7. 7 Franco Seduction 1, February 22, 2012 at 11:21 am

    I think doing having a wrestling with a lion would attract women more.. poor chicken!


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