A Good Offense is The “Breast” Defense

Defense Exhibit A -Serena Kozakura

We’ve seen on this blog how lack of girth can be a “Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free” card for some folks. Can the “Bust Defense” to crimes be far behind? Well, it’s here now—just a tad east. Tokyo pinup model, Serena Kozakura, won her 2008 criminal case using her 44’s. No violence involved, just a little physics to prove that she was unable to fit through a hole. Seems our buxom lassie was charged with breaking into the home of an ex-boyfriend to confront the man about seeing another woman. When the hole in the man’s “kicked-in” door was measured it was determined that  Kozakura’s 44 inch bust would not fit the space. The trial court convicted her anyway rejecting the OJ “if it doesn’t fit ….” defense, but an appeals court reversed.

Judge Kunio Harada obviously agreed that Kozakura’s big breasts prevented her from going into the room through the hole and tossed the guilty verdict, stating that there was “reasonable doubt over the man’s account”. Kozakura even went on the air to show that she couldn’t fit through the hole. See video below.

In a statement after the decision our model coyly said, “”I used to hate my body so much, but it was my breasts that won in court.”  Leading me to wonder aloud, “Breasts — they’re not just for traffic tickets anymore?” I am also wondering about the method of proof employed by the defense in the case. Here’s one piece of demonstartive evidence, indeed!

You can see a video of Ms. Kozakura not fitting through the hole here:


Source: Right Field ERS.com
–Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

101 thoughts on “A Good Offense is The “Breast” Defense

  1. Hmmmmmmmm,44 inch breasts on an oriental female, seems not natural as they by nature are small females, but hey if she beat the charge and came out a breast of the situation good for her.

  2. eniobob,

    I heard that same statement from a gay male that I worked with…It was years before I found out that it was not “Hell Hath No Fury like a Pissed Queen.”

    I have gone out with a very nice Asian female and she was, well…big busted….BIG…it is rare….

    This is one of those cases I say I’d have to see for myself…

  3. I have gone out with a very nice Asian female and she was, well…big busted….BIG…it is rare….

    so is the split going front to back vs side to side

  4. bdaman,

    That there is not a lot of large breasted Asian women is simply a biological fact.

    Your statement, however, is simply retarded (adj., slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress) racism.

  5. Yikes! I would have liked to see the jurors faces during that trial. It couldn’t have been an all male jury if they convicted her notwithstanding the entrance hole size problem.

  6. Thank you Buddha, your comment is noted

    I apologize for not using quotation marks

    Anonymously Yours 1, December 5, 2010 at 5:44 am

    ” I have gone out with a very nice Asian female and she was, well…big busted….BIG…it is rare….”

    I was making a joke, I guess I’m not allowed. But go ahead an accuse me of what ever you like.

    Just curious, has the DHS contacted you yet?

  7. Just like you were joking when you called Mike a Christ Killer.

    Some jokes aren’t funny by any standard.

    I’ve gone out with mostly Asian women in my life, excluding the ex-, and to a one, they would kick your ass for your “joke”.

    Racist is as racist does, dipstick.

  8. I used to be a cyclist….I rode my bike in Austin 50 to 75 miles a week….

    I used to drag race on the Highway…especially Loop 1 about 2:30 a.m……did that make me a Racist? Foolish I know….but hey I was in my 20’s life was to be challenged…And you could always get a cop to follow you….sometimes….we’ll…you did the right thing and stopped….and sometimes…well, you had a tactical advantage on them….you hit the exit before they did and they couldn’t quite make it….yep…..they kept on flying down the road…..

  9. AY,

    That doesn’t make you racist. That makes you racingist. Having done some ridiculous things behind the wheel over the years, I’ll be the last one to say anything about someone being racingist.

  10. You know what I like about my jokes?

    THEY”RE MY JOKES !!!!!

    Who cares what you think, you just messed with the wrong marine.
    Here have another snickers without crappin in your knickers

    you said he was in danger
    I said grave danger
    you said is there any other kind

  11. Whatever, racist bigot.

    Keep quoting your jingoistic movie garbage.

    Your actions betray you.

    Don’t act like a racist and I won’t call you one, “Marine”.

    Go on. Try to wrap yourself in the flag some more.

    It’s funny in a pathetic way.

  12. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.

    Na na ah boo boo !!!!

    My kid can beat up your kid.

  13. Buddha is Laughing:

    you Asian? Asian women have small boobies, Wong sick to death of small boobies.

    This girl have boobies like Godzirra, not normal.

    Bdaman speak truth about Asian women. Of course some girl have big boobies, these not normal.

    Bdaman not racist for speaking truth.

    But Buddha reary sirry to bring up racism over big boobies.
    Smarr minds jump to concrusion.

  14. Racist isn’t a name in your case, but rather an accurate description, badtroll.

    If you don’t believe that “is the split going front to back vs side to side” is a racist comment? Go ask an Asian woman and see how long it takes to get your balls kicked up into your throat.

    That is assuming she can hit such a small target.

  15. BIL:

    “That is assuming she can hit such a small target.”


    I was going to “bag” that racist troll comment but your retort handles it quite nicely.


  16. Bdaman:

    how big your barrs? How does Buddha is Raughing know? Has he been kissing you barrs?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

  17. Real breast tissue is mainly fat, and is compressible or malleable if you will. By flattening it, could she fit through the opening in question? Does anybody in polite Japanese society want to try squeezing her physique to demonstrate? I’m betting not.
    BTW, I dated a well-cleavaged woman who wasn’t too proud to unbutton a couple before the officer got to the side window of her car during a traffic stop. She never got a ticket, but met some interesting folks along the way. I think she married one. Interesting times.

  18. This is the ‘breast’ weekend legal thread to date, bar none.

    Whoever said the law had to be dull and flat…

  19. Can we all stop arsing around with the racist/not racist thing and get back to some good old down to earth honest sexism please?

    Now, show me the evidence.


    I feel better now….

  20. I won’t call you Francis because I wouldn’t associate your lame racist bigoted nonsense with a great comedy movie about a bunch of guys coming together to form a team despite their differences.

    But I will call you a racist and a bigot, badtroll.

    Because you demonstrably are a racist and a bigot.

    If you’re wounded, it’s all self-inflicted.

    If you’re not, it just goes to illustrate that what little character you have is bad.

  21. No. But Christmas greetings from a racist and bigot make me giggle at the hypocrisy of hiding behind Jesus when hiding behind the flag didn’t work.

    “When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.” – Sinclair Lewis

    What’s good for the puppet master is good for the puppet.

  22. The difference between a comedian and a clown is that a comedian make people laugh with them and a clown makes people laugh at them.

    And nobody with the mental capacities greater than an eight year old likes clowns.

  23. Buddha is Laughing:

    “I’ve gone out with mostly Asian women in my life, excluding the ex-, and to a one, they would kick your ass for your “joke”.”

    You like the submissive type eh? Do you get them off the boat or do you go to Thailand?

  24. Buddha left a note earlier and said he would be busy today.

    Methinks it’s another game of pocket pool.

    Wonder if it’s a home game or an away game.

    It’s been a while since he left the note.

    Methinks it’s an away game or it went it to overtime.

    Rack’em up

  25. Mespo,

    Bdaman is getting out of control. This is a guest post and I am concerned that Professor Turley might reconsider and disallow guest posts if such conduct is permitted.

    I doubt that you have the permissions to delete Bdaman’s posts and no one should interfere with Turley’s full schedule.

    Therefore, can you think of some fair manner to stop this nonsense on a blawg that champions civil discourse?

  26. FFLEO:

    you might want to say the same of Buddha is Laughing, he has run many people off with his vituperative and vindictive posts.

  27. Wayne,

    You mistake Japanese women for all Asian women. They do tend to be more submissive, but that’s a cultural behavior. Korean, Thai and Vietnamese women are anything but submissive as are Japanese-American women. As to “fresh off the boat”, I’ve dated both foreign nationals and 2nd and 3rd generation Americans of Japanese, Korean, Thai and Vietnamese descent, but I’ve never dated a Chinese woman. Not by a conscious choice, it just worked out that way. As to what I prefer in bed? Ask your sister, because people of good character don’t kiss and tell. She’ll be more than willing to share the sordid details to satisfy your prurient interests if you just hop to the front of the line and ask her.


    What I was doing? That falls under the category of none of your damn business. Satisfy yourself with the knowledge it was working against the interests of Neocon racist propaganda trolls. You should be able to live with that. You’re an expert on self-satisfaction.

    By the way, “Damn your good, a legend in your own mind”? Your Freudian slip is showing. “Damn [my] good” is all you’re actually capable of. The grammatically and factually correct sentence would read simply, “Damn you’re good.” So good in fact that the competition has tried to hire me. Can you say that? No. Damn the luck skill.

    But it’s nice to see you enlisted some clown buddies to squeeze into your tiny little car and go racisting around the ring. Clowns usually travel in packs. Just like dogs . . . and trolls. So how does it feel to not be an Alpha in any group? (rhetorical)

  28. “he has run many people off with his vituperative and vindictive posts”


    “he has run many people trolls off with his vituperative and vindictive posts”

    You don’t like my posts?

    Don’t read them.

    It’s that simple.

  29. AWWW Buddha don’t get your panties in a wad.

    FFlEO as the righteous Buddha so eloquently stated above.

    You don’t like my posts?

    Don’t read them.

    It’s that simple.

    Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

  30. Bdaman,

    Joking around does not bother me; however, as guests here we should all have at least of modicum of respect for Professor Turley and his blawg. That is, there is no way right now that I would recommend this blawg to anyone I respected because of posts like yours.

  31. FFLEO:

    maybe the question to ask is why does Bdaman post things like that? Buddha has ridden him hard about a comment he made, which he apologized for profusely.

    Almost every time Bdaman makes a post that Buddha doesn’t like, he is blasted as a troll/racist, etc. I don’t know about you but if I was continually assaulted, I would probably take it personally at some point.

    Bdaman is a lay expert (if that is possible) in climate science and even has a surf report, which I understand is quite popular with the surfers. He knows quite a bit about weather and climate and is constantly being accused by Buddha of being an idiot. He is anything but and if truth be known he is probably a more productive and well rounded individual than many on this blog.

    He has been consistently right in his posts about climate issues and some here ask him his opinion on what the weather will be like in their neck of the woods.

    The fact that you would not recommend this blog to your friends is not because of Bdaman, if you think it is then possibly you have a chip on your shoulder.

    What would you do if I said you were a racist troll for your posts about Bdaman?

  32. Cato,

    I’d say you’re full of crap and trying to cover for another one of bdaman’s racist gaffes.

    As to him being an idiot? Those would be your words, not mine. I accuse him of being wrong about chemistry and the nature of complex systems. Otherwise, I usually I call him a racist bigoted troll. Because 1) he’s made more than one racist comment here – including a 2) bigoted personal attack and implied threats against a regular poster – and he’s 3) admitted he’s nothing but a troll. Too bad you have absolutely zero power to do anything about it. Again, if you don’t like my posts? Don’t read them. If you don’t like me? Well, I couldn’t care less unless I cloned myself.

    That bdaman’s not very bright is another issue altogether.

  33. Buddha is Laughing:

    You are right about me not being able to do anything about it and right about not reading your posts if I disagree with the content.

    As far as liking you or not liking you; I don’t know you and why should anyone care if someone else likes them or not?
    It really doesn’t matter at all unless the other person is in a position to effect your life.

    As far as Bdaman’s intelligence, do you know him personally?
    Are you a trained psychologist with training in doing intelligence assessments? If not your opinion doesn’t really matter, does it?

    How much chemistry have you taken? How many courses on systems have you had? Any statistics or qualitative analysis? Calculus, physics at the university level? Business calc and stars for studs doesn’t count.

  34. That’s a funny thing about opinions, Cato.

    You’ve expressed yours and not gotten any buyers.

    As to intelligence assessment? I only work with what badtroll gives me. He acts unintelligent. He speaks scientific nonsense yet you seem very eager that I cut him slack because he’s a “lay expert” while challenging my credentials. Have I given him a Stanford-Binet? No. But I don’t need to to know he’s not very bright. Just like I don’t need one to know you’re an apologist. I just have to observe. And you’re right: that’s simply my opinion. Feel free to disregard it as others disregard yours.

    But that he’s a racist bigoted troll?

    That’s a historically demonstrable fact. Impeaching the credibility of a speaker is a perfectly fair and valid tactic. Boo hoo.

    Again, you don’t like what I have to say, don’t read it.

    But crying because a racist bigot is called a racist bigot won’t get you far. He discredits himself. I just point to the burning building.

    You don’t like that? Also too bad. I don’t live for your approval nor his. If he doesn’t like being called a racist bigot, he shouldn’t have said racist and bigoted things. What do you care anyway unless you have some vested interests in protecting racists and bigots? Hmm? You his big brother? He can’t defend himself? Awwwww. Too bad on that as well. He should have thought of that before he opened his mouth in inserted his feet.

    Now if you just want to bitch about me some more? You go right on ahead. I think it’s funny.

  35. Thanks, only goes to show you you can’t be a know it all unless your a know it all. So all that intelligent scientific chaos complex system you so eloquently described for you and your followers was nuttin but hot air that went up in smoke. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but it’s better to have it and not need it then to need it and not have it.

  36. Yeah, the idea that carbon retains heat and that dynamic systems are initial state dependent and have tipping points is such bullshit that the professional scientist on the site agrees with me. Oh, and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) – created in 1988 by the World Meteorological Organization and the United Nations Environmental Program and populated with professional scientists including meteorologists. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A26065-2004Dec25.html

    Why so bitter, bdaracist? Upset that the theory I back is also backed by weather professionals and mathematicians instead of deferring to your “lay expert” opinion?


  37. Hey, Andy’s Boys.

    Do you know this dance?

    18 U.S.C. 875?

    It ends with you boys being afraid to reach for the soap.

  38. FFLeo:

    “I doubt that you have the permissions to delete Bdaman’s posts and no one should interfere with Turley’s full schedule.

    Therefore, can you think of some fair manner to stop this nonsense on a blawg that champions civil discourse?”


    I do like Bdaman and Buddha and I agree this commentary is having a Hatfield-McCoy kind of ring to it. I posted this because I thought it was fun and an instance of the law adapting to modern life. Plus, Serena’s awfully pretty, too. I suggest we move on from this topic. I do think the comments are getting near the racist line and that we’re all better than this commentary suggests. I do have the power to delete but I find self-censorship the best kind rather than teh impsed variety. I’ll reconsider if this gets too much further afield.

  39. mespo,

    I sincerely apologize for maligning clowns. They are an integral part of the circus/carnival tradition.

  40. Funny how all the top experts agree with you and not vice versa.

    Damn you are a know it all.

    Reminds me of that commercial years ago

    A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

    Next you’ll be telling us about all the cases you won and how the Supreme Court agrees with you. Oh that’s right your not a lawyer, but you did sleep at a Holiday INN.

  41. STIPULATION: The professional scientists did all the heavy lifting. I just know enough about science to be able to properly evaluate their work.

  42. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC)

    They are toast.

    Thats why Japan refused to renew the Kyoto Protocol

    Why the Chicago Climate Exchange just shut down

    and why the Himalayan Glaciers wont be melting by 2035 or is that 2350.

    Then of course there’s these little nuggets

    WikiLeaks reveals how US manipulated climate accord
    3 Dec 10 – Re-engineering the global economy … billions of dollars redirected. Embassy dispatches show America used spying, threats and promises of aid to get support for Copenhagen accord

    Shouldn’t need to do that if the science is sound

    New peer reviewed paper shows just how bad the climate models really are.

    What happened to the ‘warmest year on record’: The truth is global warming has halted

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1335798/Global-warming-halted-Thats-happened-warmest-year-record.html#ixzz17O0fy6ml

    I could go on and on but you’ll just deny it, your a denier.

  43. Yeah. Me and hundreds of professional scientists are deniers. That governments and the scientifically ignorant get up to shenanigans is nothing new. Ask Galileo and Copernicus. After all, heliocentricism has been proven just as wrong as the RCC said it was.

  44. Buddha is laughing:

    “Hey, Andy’s Boys.

    Do you know this dance?

    18 U.S.C. 875?

    It ends with you boys being afraid to reach for the soap.”

    Who are Andy’s boys and why would the end of the dance make them afraid to reach for the soap?

    Ҥ 875. Interstate communications
    How Current is This? (a) Whoever transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication containing any demand or request for a ransom or reward for the release of any kidnapped person, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.
    (b) Whoever, with intent to extort from any person, firm, association, or corporation, any money or other thing of value, transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication containing any threat to kidnap any person or any threat to injure the person of another, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.
    (c) Whoever transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication containing any threat to kidnap any person or any threat to injure the person of another, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
    (d) Whoever, with intent to extort from any person, firm, association, or corporation, any money or other thing of value, transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication containing any threat to injure the property or reputation of the addressee or of another or the reputation of a deceased person or any threat to accuse the addressee or any other person of a crime, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.”

    is this the code you are talking about?

    You worried “Andy’s boys” are going to kidnap you? That’s pretty funny actually. All that from a funny video?

    You must be Ross Perot. Good to know you Ross, I actually liked your charts during the election.

  45. If the message wasn’t addressed to you – which it wasn’t, why did you answer?

    Just to hear yourself prattle?


  46. Yep your a denier and on top of that a fool.

    You keep believing in the same government scientist from the same governments that keeps lying to you. Some people are to smart for their own good. You see where it got you don’t you.
    Practice law much Fix computers much how bout go to the dojo much.
    Just what do you do ? We know from above you aint married. Like oriental woman went to law school but not an attorney. Been fixin computers since you were five but I have to point out to you the spam filters of wordpress. I can I could go on and on but it’s time for bed. Good night Mr. Denier


  47. Buddha is Laughing:

    “If the message wasn’t addressed to you – which it wasn’t, why did you answer?

    Just to hear yourself prattle?


    I thought the dance was funny and I wondered why someone would make a comment like that about a dance. It seemed very out of place to me so I asked.

    Maybe you dont like Gene Gene the Dancin Machine? Is he gonna kidnap you and make you learn his little dance? I guess I would be upset as well, kinda would kill it with the ladies at the local watering hole.

    Although the Asian women might dig it.

  48. Bdaman:

    are you working for Keith Olbermann? I just noticed this video of Olbermann talking about Nigeria investigating Dick C.


    And then I saw this as well:

    1. Bdaman 1, November 24, 2010 at 7:11 am
    I bet the administration replies to e-mails originating from Nigeria.

    2. 4 jonathanturley 1, November 24, 2010 at 7:17 am
    Bdaman, I had to follow your lead and add a line on possible email scams. Perfect comeback.

    3. 5 Bdaman 1, November 24, 2010 at 7:48 am
    Thanks professor, in fairness these are the same dupes from the Bush administration. However it has been magnified because the current administration has added to the list ten fold.

    Good for you Bdanewshound.

  49. Buddha is Laughing:

    Charlie and I want to assure you that we are not planning on kidnapping you. We would have liked you to come work with us but we dont believe in coercion/force to get people to work in our news shop. We honestly do have enough people who apply for positions to not have to resort to kidnapping to fill our stable of writers and pundits.

    Although that might make a good story, blogger kidnapped by major online news organization and forced to write copy. Obviously it would be fiction. Charlie likes to write and is currently working on his first book (it should be out next September), he says if you dont mind he would like to use this idea for his next one.

    If you have any ideas just post them on the Thanksgiving thread where we met.

    It is a shame you dont want to come work with us, as you can see just this short interaction has lead to a possible novel. Charlie says he will share the proceeds from the book with you for the idea if it gets published. 10% for the idea and more if you help him flesh out the characters and story.

    Andy was right about you, really good stuff. Too bad.

  50. Cato The Younger

    Wow that makes you wonder doesn’t it. I’m sure it was a coincidence but then again I know there is preparations behind the scene to set a story up. If in fact that goes back to my comment I doubt no one would ever fess up. Thanks for pointing that out. That is very interesting in how you connected that.

    It is freezing in Florida

    Freeze Frame: Temps Expected to Drop Into the 30s
    Though wind will make it feel more like it’s in the 20s

    The official start of winter is still two weeks away, but South Florida is bracing for some seriously cold temperatures (for our standards).

    While this cold spell may not rival the one experienced back in January, when it remained cold for two straight weeks, the forecast calls for readings in the 30s both Monday and Tuesday nights.

    A freeze warning is in effect for inland locations in South Florida, and farm owners are scrambling to protect their crops. For the rest of us, a wind chill warning has been issued, as the wind will make us feel like it’s in the 20s and not the 30s.

    While we may not break any records, the forecast low of 40 degrees in Miami for Tuesday, December 7th, rivals some of the earliest cold outbreaks ever recorded in the Magic City. The earliest seasonal occurrence of 40 degrees or lower was on December 10th 1910! The last time the temperature dipped below 45 before December 7th was November 15th 1975.


    South Floridians woke up Tuesday morning to temperatures hovering around the very low 40s that sometimes felt like the mid-30s because of the wind chill factor.

    In Fort Lauderdale, a low temperature record of 42 degrees for Dec. 7 that had been in place for 169 years was broken, said Dan Gregoria, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Miami.

    “It was at 7:24 a.m. when the temperature reached 40 degrees,” Gregoria said.

    Then there’s this story below and looking at the latest GFS and CMC forecast model this morning, the same snowstorm that the Eastcoast got rocked with last year is getting ready to move in from the Pacific. Stock up on supplies cause it looks like things are gonna come to a stand still sometime next week.

    Monster Storm Closes in on 50 Percent Snowcover by Christmas

    There is a good chance that a major storm will hit areas from the Midwest to the Northeast this weekend adding to a snow cover that will cover 50 percent of the country by Christmas Day.


  51. Charlie and Kurt,

    My motives for posting the statute have been met.

    I’m perfectly capable of getting my own work published should I desire to do so, but thanks again.

  52. And I said my goal was accomplished, Charlie and Kurt.

    Thanks for your assistance in this matter (albeit unwitting assistance).

  53. Lawrence Solomon: The $7-billion carbon scam


    Here’s more clear evidence that the Carbon Trading industry is doomed. Not only has carbon trading been halted in the USA due to lack of a market and ludicrously low prices of a nickel per ton, now it has been learned that in Denmark, more than 7 billion dollars has been lost due to the faulty system. Next step, Nigerian email system.

  54. It’s an ugly world out there, Bdaman, and getting worse. Anybody — and I mean anyone — is fair game in these “24” times.

    The “boots” are on the ground in our communities and they’re going after people (activists, whistleblowers, the outspoken, those who are vulnerable, those they don’t like, and the list goes on). In general, they stick with those who are most vulnerable… But who would believe it? So it continues…

    I know this. They destroy good people. They do it because they can. They do it because they like it. They’re overgrown bullies with power and high-tech toys… And, if it’s permitted to continue, may God help us.

  55. I’m busy, lil’ racist troll. ‘Tis the season and all the jazz.

    I know you’re not getting your daily dose of masochistic smack down time, but you’ll just have to deal with it.

  56. Bdaman:

    Mr. Sunspot has a big influence on global warming or so that one web site says.

    I suppose when the sun finally goes out we wont have to worry about global warming.

  57. Thanks Mespo. BTW, there was nothing whatsoever wrong with this topic and it fits within the “Bizarre” category similar to other legal topics often posted within this blawg.

  58. Mespo, I looked at this post for about a minute because it wasn’t on a topic I’m obsessing about recently, and I was not terribly interested. But then, I saw Bdaman and Buddha get into it, and I got confused, and since my threshold for confusion is kinda low today, I checked back to see what either or both of them were talking about, and then and then and then and then, and then I found myself asking:

    “How could an article about a woman who has big breasts lead to a knock-down-drag-out-name-calling fight between two MEN, of which neither has ever even MET HER?”

    And then I revised that question to read, “How could an article about a woman who has big breasts lead to a conflict among two or MORE men of whom NONE of them have met her?”

    And then I figured out everything in the world.

    How can I thank you for posting this invaluable article, Mespo? I forgive you for being a Virginia lawyer.

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