For those who have complained about the growing “nanny state” laws in the European Union, it may not come as a surprise that your kid now needs a nanny to blow up your balloon or blow a whistle. Under new EU rules, balloons can no longer be blown up by unsupervised children under the age of eight as well as prohibitions on other party favorites for young children like whistle blowers.
The EU is worried about choking hazards. The result is that children will now be told to look forward to their nine-year-old birthdays as a milestone when they can blow up a balloon.
The EU is the ultimate detached bureaucracy — meting out regulations for EU nations that are often resented by citizens, who feel they have little voice in such matters. With the euro in danger of collapse, such regulations only harden the view of the future of the EU.
In addition to the ban on unsupervised children blowing whistles and blowing up balloons, a new warning will now be required stating “children under eight years must be supervised and broken balloons should be discarded.”
In addition, the EU is worried about dirty teddy bears so it is issuing regulations on making all bears washable.
The new regulations were delayed due to the need for supervised inflation of the balloons at the press conference. The EU officials decided for safety to go with one partially inflated balloon that was kept behind a rope line under the supervision of an armed guard to avoid accidental choking. It was then removed by a hazmat team at the end of the festive event.