Pooper Scooper: Maryland Man Arrested After 20 Years of Defecating In Neighbor’s Yards

Kelly Erwin, 48, is accused of being a serial dumper. Not trash or industrial waste, mind you. Erwin, the coach of a girl’s Lacrosse team called the “Scoopers,” is accused of defecating in the driveways and yards of neighbors in Maryland. What I found most interesting, however, was the first response of police to Erwin.


When first confronted, Ervin, 48, insisted that he goes running almost every day around 4 AM, and when he hits the two-mile mark, “he has to have a bowel movement.” For that purpose, he explained, he carried toilet paper. For some reason, this made sense to Ervin.

Saying that he was embarrassed by the inquiry, Erwin insisted that he has been marking his territory in this fashion for twenty years. Here is the intriguing part: the police listened to his story, took his confession, and then asked him to stop pooping in his neighbors’ yards and driveways. That is it. They assured him that there was no current criminal investigation despite the fact that he just confessed to them that he was defecating in public for 20 years.

A few days later a neighbor came forward with a videotape. He was tired of cleaning up poop and toilet paper and had installed a camera. Robert Bryan Robinson said that this has happened too many times, so he rigged the surveillance system to catch the culprit. It worked. The camera shows Ervin not running but pulling over his Jeep, and then defecating in Robinson’s driveway. When confronted again, Ervin again confessed and said that he saw the camera at the last minute. Finally, the police in Salisburg decided to charge him. The charge however is not public indecency or exposure or the defecating in public. It is littering or dumping under 100 pounds, a misdemeanor. That seems a bit light.

I am just waiting for the sentencing hearing when Ervin is asked the standard question of “how can you assure this court that this will not happen again?” and answers with “Depends.”

By the way, the “Scoopers” coach works in the medical field.

Source: Smoking Gun

29 thoughts on “Pooper Scooper: Maryland Man Arrested After 20 Years of Defecating In Neighbor’s Yards

  1. Dredd,

    At least he planned ahead…… And did it on private property…….. Maybe he has all of the credentials to run……

  2. Because……… We…….. Can…… Need anymore information talk to my 6th grade grammar teacher…….

  3. Anonymously Yours 1, April 23, 2012 at 8:09 am

    Dredd,

    At least he planned ahead…… And did it on private property…….. Maybe he has all of the credentials to run……
    ===================================
    The main credential is getting away with defecating on innocent people’s rights, then saying “I have been doing it so long it is ok.”

  4. Maryland has been a state as long as any. I’d guess that over the years, an ordinance was passed to make this a criminal act. Is the prosecutor too titillated or lazy to pursue this?
    If I caught him doing this in my yard, I would sure try to beat the crap out of him.

  5. I wonder if the reason the police charged/did not charge was due to the Misdemeanor presence rules and such.

    Many places have restrictions where unless a misdemeanor was committed in the presence of an officer, the officer had to get an arrest warrant to charge the person; exceptions usually being assault, trespassing, DUI and the likes. So even if at the time of the initial investigation, having the confession and pile of dung as “corpus defecti” wouldn’t have mattered. Plus, they thought he might actually stop doing it.

    Probably they went with the Illegal Dumping charge later (possibly through the courts) because if they went with public indecency he could have claimed he had a medical condition and couldn’t help it. But he could nevertheless have cleaned up his mess but didn’t hence the littering charge.

  6. They charged him correctly. Why would they charge him with indecent exposure? Do you want him overcharged so he will cop a plea to simply trashing the neighborhood? When you gotta go you gotta go. Which should be his defense. He could not very well poop in the jeep.

    Us dogs do it all the time and some of the dogs in my dog pack do confess to pooping in the a-holes yards, you know, the ones who put out anti freeze for us to drink and who shoot guns at us. We steal their NY Times too. So if they read the times you know where they are coming from. The talk funny too. They cant say thirty, they say turdy. So maybe this guy has a little Rottweiler in him. That would be a good defense to. Defense of the Dog.

    Just A Dog Talkin, dont mind my growl & bark.

  7. Nice to see we are getting a dog’s perspective on this. So often they are left out ot the fray and are unrepresented.

    Makes me wonder if we could talk to animals would we all be vegetarian?

  8. Just how much crap are you supposed to take from someone, even if they are your neighbor?

    Apparently about 20 years worth.

    Humanity! Boldly answering the questions of tomorrow, today!

  9. Dredd,

    You might have all of the qualifications to be a new Lee Atwater, Karl Rove….. You seem to be able to grasp those issues easy….

  10. This is a common phenomenon with burglars, usually in the middle of a bed.
    No, I wasn’t but he was.
    NOT being OS or MikeS, I’d venture to say he has:
    a) constipation problems (if he had been running)
    b) repressed aggressions
    c) gets his orgasms anally.

  11. Mmmm, and all along I’ve been blaming my neighbors dog, at least I hope its all been from his German Shepard!

  12. Try usning an air gun on his ass when he tries to have a dump again. One shot in the butt will cure his problem. A friend of mine had a problem with a neighbors dog tipping over his trash can. So Len waited one trash day with his pellet rifle. The dog stood up on its hinglegs to sniff, and since it was a fully equipped male, his balls were exposed. Len took the opportunity to target them, and fired. He said he never knew that a dog could run on its front paws. The problem was solved permanently.

  13. Anonymously Yours 1, April 23, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Dredd,

    You might have all of the qualifications to be a new Lee Atwater, Karl Rove….. You seem to be able to grasp those issues easy….
    ===============================================
    Ah, the olde “it takes one to know one” hypothesis.

    Can’t hypothesize further about that until I know what you mean by “qualifications”.

    Using those two examples (Lee, Karl), I would have to be a republican.

    I would urge you to consider, instead, that I study propaganda sources in the U.S.eh? regularly, and therefore know the genesis thereof (e.g. I like Chomsky).

    Truth is better to strive for than driveway defecation propaganda.

  14. My aunt used to sing a song about Pepsi Cola, pigs, and Victrolas. The chorus was:

    And the wind blew,
    And the $#!+ flew,
    And we couldn’t see
    For a day or two.

  15. “Robert Bryan Robinson said that this has happened too many times, so he rigged the surveillance system to catch the culprit.”

    ‘too many times’? I wonder what the threshold was?

  16. Around here on the Neuse River the humans are all correctly socialized and they poop in toilets, flush to the city disposal center, which flushes raw poop into the Neuse River, the fish eat the poop, the people eat the fish, and the circle goes unbroken.
    I hope that the guy with the unkind words about dogs poopin in yards has already eaten fish for dinner before he reads this.
    At least we dogs dont poop in the Neuse River and blame it on the pig farmers or Weyheuser.

  17. TD,
    you’re long gone, I’ve been in the hospital without net access.
    but just in case, i’ll inquire as before. where on the neuse does that commuinty lie, below the fall line I suppose..
    here you can drink the water of a lake 200 miles long which ends in the middle of Stockholm. Try that in America, folks.

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