Kelly Erwin, 48, is accused of being a serial dumper. Not trash or industrial waste, mind you. Erwin, the coach of a girl’s Lacrosse team called the “Scoopers,” is accused of defecating in the driveways and yards of neighbors in Maryland. What I found most interesting, however, was the first response of police to Erwin.
When first confronted, Ervin, 48, insisted that he goes running almost every day around 4 AM, and when he hits the two-mile mark, “he has to have a bowel movement.” For that purpose, he explained, he carried toilet paper. For some reason, this made sense to Ervin.
Saying that he was embarrassed by the inquiry, Erwin insisted that he has been marking his territory in this fashion for twenty years. Here is the intriguing part: the police listened to his story, took his confession, and then asked him to stop pooping in his neighbors’ yards and driveways. That is it. They assured him that there was no current criminal investigation despite the fact that he just confessed to them that he was defecating in public for 20 years.
A few days later a neighbor came forward with a videotape. He was tired of cleaning up poop and toilet paper and had installed a camera. Robert Bryan Robinson said that this has happened too many times, so he rigged the surveillance system to catch the culprit. It worked. The camera shows Ervin not running but pulling over his Jeep, and then defecating in Robinson’s driveway. When confronted again, Ervin again confessed and said that he saw the camera at the last minute. Finally, the police in Salisburg decided to charge him. The charge however is not public indecency or exposure or the defecating in public. It is littering or dumping under 100 pounds, a misdemeanor. That seems a bit light.
I am just waiting for the sentencing hearing when Ervin is asked the standard question of “how can you assure this court that this will not happen again?” and answers with “Depends.”
By the way, the “Scoopers” coach works in the medical field.
Source: Smoking Gun