Want To Slash the Budget? Vote Orc

Colleen Lachowicz is facing a truly bizarre attack campaign from Republicans in her campaign for the state Senate in Maine. The Maine Republican Party is warning voters that Lachowicz is really “Santiaga,” an Orc Assassin Rogue on the World of Warcraft. That’s right, the GOP has adopted an openly discriminatory policy against Orcs despite their legendary tenacity and frugality.

The Republicans insist that Lachowicz’s role playing amounts to a “time-consuming double life” since “Colleen is playing at level 85 — the highest level one can attain.” The GOP further adds that “[s]tudies have found that the average World of Warcraft gamer is 28 and spends 22.7 hours per week playing.” The attack ads also quote Lackowicz as saying “I stab things … a lot. Who would have thought that a peace-lovin’, social worker and democrat would enjoy that?!”

The campaign is premised on the notion that somehow people who play such games are weird and live in a fantasy world. They clearly have not looked at the number of people playing these games. There is a virtual army of Orcs that likely reside in Maine. There are an estimated 183 million Americans who play online games. Though I have never played the game, I would sooner cross a legion of Angry Birds.

As the website explains, “For an orc, personal reputation is as important as his or her clan, and most will fight to the death in defense of either.” Moreover, some common traits of the Orcs fits well with the GOP. For example, Orcs are “concerned with survival over artistic achievement” and thus would have no problem cutting the arts and PBS. Like both parties campaigning on social security and AARP issues, Orc society “reveres its elderly and honors its ancestors.” Finally, like the Bush Administration, Orcs “do not apologize for past actions.”

This is not the first attack on Orcs and the GOP in the Maine Kingdom should think twice before crossing these tough creatures:

The orcs once cultivated a noble, shamanistic society on Draenor. Tragically, the proud orc clans were corrupted by the Burning Legion and used as pawns in the Legion’s invasion of Azeroth. The orcs managed to rebel, however, and they were ultimately able to help turn the tide against their demon masters. Led by the young Warchief Thrall, the orcs have reclaimed their strength and honor. The orcs moved from the Eastern Kingdoms to Kalimdor, and there they founded the nation of Durotar.

This attack on Lachowicz by the GOP over her hobby brings a new low to an already disgraceful election season. I can think of a lot more harmful distractions. I suppose the Maine Republican Party wants candidates to pursue the traditional distractions of politicians supplied by lobbyists where the debaucheries are real and only the voters are treated as abstractions. I would rather have a social worker endorsed by “9 out of 10 Orcs” than another religious or anti-governmental crusader promising to reestablish primeval social order.

23 thoughts on “Want To Slash the Budget? Vote Orc

  1. To quote Dylan: “When you ain’t got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose”. Most GOP campaigners these days are selling the “snake oil” of lower taxes and “family values”, to avoid the fact that their policies cater precisely to the 1%. When your campaign can’t really lay out the fact that your policies will hurt the majority of voters, you must distract them with ephemera. It’s worked for them for years. This is not to say that Democrats will actually do what they promise once in office, but at least their stump message appeals to the interests of the majority of the electorate.

  2. Tenacious, sure, but frugal? I’m not so sure about that. Look at what they did to the woods surrounding Isengard at the order of Saruman.

  3. nick, It is Tolkien speak.. I am only slightly familiar because my son read the books them in the fifth grade.

  4. What really was the waste of time was not this woman playing this role playing game but what her opponents spent, and the money, making such a stupid issue of this.

    I would see that many people would be PO’ed about this rubbish and vote for her in protest.

    Personally, if she is a level 68 I guess that she has some talent. What would be the difference between playing this game in her SPARE time and watching TV and eating Bon-Bons all night long. As long as she got whatever it was that she was employed in done very well who cares?

    Oh, I just noticed in the advert, the quote she made was from 2009. Unless this game uses a different calender system, doesn’t sound very contemporary to me.

    But since these type of issues are now important in the minds of others. I played Advenced Dungeons & Dragons from 1980 to 1984 about every other week with friends in the basement of one of our houses. I didn’t suffer any of the levitation and daemon possessions inherent with 15 year old boys of the time.

    About that time I rarely had more than three quarters in my possession because if I did, I rode my 10 speed over to the video arcade to immerse myself in Colony-7, Route 16, Tempest, and Bosconian. I also had an Atari 2600 and 800 computer. I spent a summer in my 15th year working in a shed sorting cherries to buy an Indus GT floppy disk drive for my Atari 800.

    Now I invite Maine Republicans to come to Washington State and take out an ad agaist me as well. It’s now out in the open, come and get me. But know this, I have Charisma of 25, Strength of 18-00, and wisdom of 3, so probably not a good idea to make me angry. you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

    I wonder if the Maine Republicans take exception to her flying a kite, since it was just as equally as offensive to the Taliban as they might find with playing World of Warcraft.

    I LIKE ORC !
    Read my lips, No New Axes
    Workers of the World of Warcraft, Unite !

  5. Usually when someone uses a word with which I’m not familiar, I look it up. But this is a whole thread! I’m going back to my book so I can get rid of this look of bewilderment.

  6. SWM, Thanks. My sisters were/are Tolkien freaks. I would just glaze over and nod pleasantly when they raved about the books and movies. When you’re an introvert in an extrovert family one gets good @ that. To each their own.

  7. bettykath, I’m a positive person and a gambler. I wager there are many things on which we agree. And, I’m being serious.

Comments are closed.