Father Ordered to Pay Child Support For Three Children Conceived In Affairs With Three Other Men

father-knows-bestWe have previously discussed rulings where fathers have contested the obligation to pay child support for children conceived in affairs or where they were simply sperm donors. The latest case in Canada involves a man who was ordered to pay child support for three out of four children who were proven not to be his own biological offspring. Indeed, DNA tests found that his ex-wife had the three girls by three different fathers. Only the boy was found to be his biological progeny.


The man and his wife of 16 years separated in April 2010 and he asked for a DNA test. His son aged 9 was found to be his, but his daughters aged 12, 14, and 16 were found to have three different fathers. Those fathers have not been asked to pay child support by the ex-wife.

Source: Toronto Sun

51 thoughts on “Father Ordered to Pay Child Support For Three Children Conceived In Affairs With Three Other Men

  1. wow, the only people who lose are the 3 daughters. They thought the guy was their father. How devistating is that going to be?

    There is a reason for “bourgeois” morality.

  2. Can someone please explain how that was justified by the court? I realize that the biological fathers may not be found (certainly not without the help of the mother) or that finding them would open up all sorts of entanglements for those poor girls. Still I just don’t see how a judge could justify this ruling.

  3. The sanctity of the marriage…. Is more important than the child’s biological fathers…. It makes no sense…. But many people have affairs that result in children….. If married they are stuck…. Unless… They are getting a divorce and the child’s biological parent is willing to step up to the plate and take responsibility….. In Michigan it’s called a Serafin hearing…. I think that’s the name…

  4. This is normal in most states, unless you are getting a divorce before the childs birth and can prove during that process that the child in not yours. I knew one poor guy I worked with who was not a great catch since he was fat and ugly, but he had a good very well paying job. His wife was a knockout, young and really beautiful. So they get married, and a few months down the road, she takes off to live with another guy. We told Hector to get a divorce ASAP, or at least file. He said NO she will come back, since she loves me! She came back alright, pregnant with the other guys kid. She lived with him until she delivered, using his health insurance benefits, then one week after the birth, SHE filed for divorce, kicked him out of their house, and her lover moved in. Hector got to pay child support for the kid until 18 or 21 if in college for another mans child at a high rate of child support too, so that she and her boyfriend did not have to work either. Most laws regard ANY child born while married as the husbands legally. There are NO exceptions, and this is as it should be.

  5. It is a terrible situation, especially for the kids and the husband. Yet I don’t know how you can change it. From the perspective of society the kids must be cared for. As for the deceived father, I believe that any person who raises a child from infancy, despite the DNA donor, loves that child as if it were their own which in emotional fact it is.

  6. As the parent of an adopted daughter, my wife liked to say she grew in her heart, not under it. No kid was ever more loved. She helps keep me sane. Now that Mama is gone, we lean on each other.

  7. Why doesn’t the father want to pay child support? Imagine learning your father rejects you when he learns you aren’t “his”.

  8. Gene,
    You did have to work that non-acceptable Scrabble word in there didn’t you? In a complete sentence, with a subject, verb and everything. Cool beans!

  9. For 12-16 years those daughters were his. Now when it comes time for child support he denies them. What scum.

    There was a case a few years ago where dad fought for custody of two boys, but not their sister. She was born before the marriage but was adopted by dad. He didn’t want custody of sis until he found out that he had to pay child support for her regardless. Then he wanted custody of her too. In the end, mom retained custody, visitation for dad who had to pay child support for all three except when he had the kids (mom had to maintain the household without that support while they were gone). Sis never did take part in the visitation, her choice.

  10. randyjet,

    Very well said.

    However, I hope Hector doesn’t read your post. In addition to his child support issue and obvious overall bad judgment, he must learn that you think he’s fat and ugly. ;)

  11. Mike, it should be very easy to change. If the children are proven by DNA to NOT be sired by the man, he shouldn’t be required to pay support. Period.

  12. There is a big difference between a biological father and a Daddy. This guy was the children’s Daddy until he got divorced, then he wants to play a biology card. Unless he was a total a$$, I imagine those kids love him and see him as their Daddy. It is not their fault their mom had an affair.

    On the other hand, even if he is a total a$$, and it is beginning to look that way, he needs to pay anyway. This is how kids become estranged. This guy sounds like my former son-in-law. The kids were his with no doubt….both of them look(ed) just like him, especially his son. However, when we lost my grandson, he refused to pay any funeral or burial expenses at all. He demanded to have the right to say what was engraved on his headstone and a memorial bench, but when asked about money to pay for the extra engraving he demanded, we got crickets. As a matter of fact, when a family friend found out about it she set up a fundraiser and we got the money for his stone and bench in a matter of minutes. My granddaughter called her father and asked him to contribute to the fundraiser for her little brother, even if it was just ten or twenty dollars. She does not have a job, but she and her fiancee scraped together their last $20 to throw in. Her father flatly told her “no” when she called him. He has a six figure income.

    I cannot say what I really think and manage to keep it civil, but let’s just say I have an opinion about fathers like this.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/01/24/1058157/-Let-s-buy-a-gravestone-for-Otteray-Scribe-s-grandson-UPDATED-WE-DID-IT?detail=hide

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/26/1078039/-The-Grieving-Room-It-was-one-year-ago?detail=hide

  13. You people seem to miss the point of family unity… The children have always looked to this person as the dad… Regardless if its biological….. Anyone or almost anyone can father a child… Not everyone can be a dad…

  14. So, he raised the children as his own and acted as their father in all things and in all ways for 12, 14, and 16 years, and NOW he wants to claim he’s NOT the father?

    Can you imagine if the mother wanted to terminate his parental rights after divorce based on him not being the biological father? That’d be much more outrageous than this guy having to pay child support for kids that are not biologically, but are de facto, his children.

  15. I have an adopted daughter. She was critically ill when we got her at age 13 months. She had been medically neglected by her biological parents and we stepped in when DCS seized her due to medical neglect. She knows she is adopted. She is bright and although we have not told her everything, and have never bad-mouthed her birth parents, she figured out on her own that they are the kinds of people who give trailer trash a bad name. And that comes with an apology to genuine trailer trash.

    No child has ever been loved more. I would literally step in front of a bullet for her. She returns those feelings, with interest. I am a blessed man.

  16. The people criticizing this guy instead of the harlot are something else.

    They probably separated because he caught her cheating. He probably only requested a paternity test for the same reason. He was probably devastated when he found out they weren’t his. Now he has to pay for someone else’s kids (which they are, regardless of how it was) in addition to his own separate living expenses? Do you know if he can afford that?

    You don’t care, like he’s done something wrong.

    To him, this is now about the system forcing him to lose to his skank of an ex-wife, not these other men’s kids, as it should be. The fact that she is not required to prove that the real fathers are still alive so that the can pay for their own kids, is borderline criminal.

    I wouldn’t care if this guy was forced to pay SOMETHING as long as the mother and the real fathers weren’t let off the hook. That is actually more unfair to everyone, including the kids, than if this guy wasn’t forced to pay.

  17. I wonder if the responses to this story suggesting that fatherhood is in the biological link would be the same if it were the biological father demanding to supplant the presumed father in the lives of the children after a similar period of time. Children are entitled to certainty as to their parents, biological or not. While there might be a basis for not presuming fatherhood for some period immediately after birth, I would have a problem with the law providing that the lack of a biological connection should forever render the father/child relationship open to legal attack. I believe that in California a husband or wife may dispute presumptive paternity based on a demand for blood tests within 2 years of the child’s birth.

  18. Think what it will be like for divorce lawyers in about ten years after all of these same sex marriages with adopted kids with sperm donors and all that rot starts to reach the divorce courts in a big drove. Can you just imagine the waiting room outside the courtroom with all of those characters waiting for justice to figure them out. The television shows featuring courts will be focused on them. To this dog and former humanoid who was a lawyer, the divorce end of the sctick was the worst niche one could get into in the legal profession. If I was daddypoo in this instance I would run down the names and addresses of the real fathers and name them as cross defendants. They should all chip in. Take the kids away from the mom tho. Let one of the dads take over custody. Or each dad. If I was none of those kids I would buy mom a gross of good condums. She oughta get fixed. Next thing ya know HumpinDog will be paying support for some kid just because he humped a leg.

  19. In legally backward Florida a child born within wedlock is the responsibility of only the then parents. What a responsible state could do is require the biological father to contribute to the child’s welfare along with the legal parent. To those that berated the father in this story for abandoning the girls he may be willing to share financial responsibility but at the time of an acrimonious divorce no sane person is thinking straight. My ex had her attorney set me up with a sale of our jointly held stocks. Result a felony accusation and complete loss of contact with my eight year old son. She was also monetarily consorting with the Judge Thomas Stringer (look this name up in past blogs if you don’t believe me). So do not take sides in this issue just know that unfair laws can be changed and work like i do to change them.

  20. Just another example of scum bag women using Canadian Law to screw every last cent she can out of the guy for her indescretions. Fairly typical female behaviour everywhere when it comes to divorce.

    Unfortunately for this guy he lives in Canada because in various other jurisdictions this low life female would not get away with this kind of State sponsored theft.

  21. I believe the result in this case was mandated by certain principles of estoppel. As a matter of public policy, a court will not allow a person to permit another to assume a set of facts to be true for a long period of time, and thereafter assert a contrary position when he deems it advantageous to do so. At bottom, estoppel rests on our common sense of intrinsic fairness. This is even more important in a domestic relations setting involving children. The effort of the father in this instance to deny his paternity was extremely cruel.

    In states such as Florida, the signing of a birth certificate as the father of a child establishes paternity, even if subsequent DNA testing identifies someone else as the biological father. I believe this is sound policy.

  22. When I first commented I forgot to check the notify box. I missed all the comments that followed and reading them I’d like to be clearer in my opinion. This is a tragic situation. First for the children who were dragged into this case because of the anger of their parents. While that should never occur it happens all too frequently and it becomes very harmful to the kids who are always to be seen as blameless. Now as to the father, no doubt he feels angry and betrayed. However, that doesn’t give him the right to take it out on HIS children. The fact is that if you raise a child as its parent the genetics mean nothing compared to the love and bonding you’ve experienced. I know this for a fact. Now not all parents are capable of feeling that love and bonding. Those that aren’t able to feel the bond of raising a child suffer from some emotional problems in my opinion. Parenthood has been the greatest joy of my life and I believe that joy is hardwired into most of us. While this man may be stung by his wife’s betrayal, it has nothing to do with the kids that are his own by right of rearing them.

  23. In other words, check paternity before you sign a birth certificate if the tone of these comments that don’t even criticize the whore, are any indication. It may piss off your “wife” or the mother of the child, but if you’re listed as the father, you will have ZERO rights in the future if she decides that she’d rather be with someone else, so you want to know upfront. Even if you’re not on the birth certificate, you likely will still be forced to pay child support if the children were being raised with you in the picture, but again, at least you’ll know upfront.

    Women like the one in this story gives you a good enough reason not to trust any of them. Like Chris Rock said, “Men tell the most lies, women tell the biggest lies… A man’s lie is, ‘I was at Tony’s house.’ A woman’s lie is, ‘It’s your baby.'”

    Be a dick upfront. It’s your only defense, apparently…barely.

  24. I know a family where the mother was married and had three kids who were each in turn fathered by a different boyfried, all the while she was married. When the mom was late in life and the three kids all grown up with kids of their own, mom owned up to the kids. The purpose was to alert them to any genetic problems which they might have. Your father all these years had kleptomania but dont worry, he is not your real dad. Your real dad was a genius. But he had fibromyalgia. And, a big weeny. He was also your cousin. And on it went. How do you explain to your kid that she is second cousin once removed. There was only one insertion.

  25. This is a hot mess. To absolve the biological parents of any responsibility in this situation seems terribly wrong, as does the rejection by the non-biological father. And of course, the mother was wrong on many counts: infidelity, betrayal, dishonesty, etc. And yet, only the hapless father is bearing any legal consequence. Not fair! And yes, the children will suffer from perceived or real rejection from the father, and from the damage caused by the mother. And they will be conflicted, confused and curious about their biological parents.

  26. The shame should be on the mother. She needs to explain to her daughters and find their fathers (to support them).Perhaps their fathers could be a better parent. Right on KMYKW – it should be required at birth, just like they make you sign paternity before you can get over the thrill! With DNA there is no excuse anymore. They blood type the baby anyway. Was the non-paternal father kept in the girls lives? If so, who is to say that he will not continue to be – but should not have to pay for another mans child unless he offers to.

  27. The ruling is based on the legal principle of estoppel, which means in this case, that his failure to contest paternity for 16, 14 and 12 years means that he can’t do it now. I suspect that the wife was able to show that he knew all along but did nothing to contest paternity.

  28. Why is he scum for wanting some help in paying child support from the actual fathers? Obviously he wife deceived him for years and years, where do you think that puts him mentally and emotionally right now? He obviously wanted to know. Nowhere is it said he doesn’t love those girls or intends to walk out of their lives.

    So he is scum for wanting some help?

  29. Make paternity testing automatic at birth or before birth.

    Anything this important can’t be relegated to the few times when people happen to be suspicious enough to be willing to possibly offend their spouses by asking for such a test.

    Take the emotion out of it. Make it mandatory.

  30. Note to men everywhere (and I am a female saying this), do NOT sign the birth certificate until you had a DNA test confirming paternity, married or not. So what if wifey is offended. Spend the money now or find out later you are NOT the father and spend the money for the next 18-21 years.

  31. Are these laws made by women ? Why are men made to suffer like these . Why do courts never never take into consideration what a man feels.. its just the woman and child , the man can go to hell for all they care . Later u hear idiots go on TV talking about how men are loosing jobs and education to women where u have created a man -hating society.

  32. Within a few years, most children will be genotyped before or right after birth and biological fathers will be definitively identified.
    It is well to start thinking about what the laws should be then.

  33. My answer to Frankly is simple: It is all about money. If courts will start giving right sentence to the cheated fathers- all these women who cheated will run to social service and ask for financial support. And they will get it, or children will start dying on the streets from starvation. To avoid this situation our gov created scam- they frame innocent guys and they call it law. Like Hitler when he was kidnapping civilians in beaten countries to send them to Germany to slavery work. He had justification. He needed labour. Today gov and courts need to have boy to beat him, and lonely guy with nobody to support him is perfect target (women have feminist organisations and guys- nobody). If they will prosecute women cheating authorities about fatherhood then women again- will go to jail and children to orphanage- and again- government will have to pay. Therefore- GUYS! do not expect justice. One more- for the same reason gov will never make mandatory to DNA check of all newborn…

  34. Once for a while we can hear about hospital mistake or staff wron doing when newborn are swapped and mothers get wrong babies. If several years later family find out about it- then public outcry is strong like roaring of the lions or T-rex. Everybody are demanding beheading and rolling heads. HOW SUCH HORROR COULD HAPPEN TO THIS POOR WOMAN? Law suits are going into millions of $. “This poor woman was thinking this is her child for 15 years and now- she is heart broken finding that her child is not really her…” Nobody cares about fathers and many of them are pushed into suicide. Here is my message to “winning” cheating mothers: Thx for your actions in the future your sons will be framed the same way like you did. And the same message is to gov and judges: some day you and your families will be victim of this ridiculous system you create today. Today- we build a world for future generations, and this (framing person) is total wiolation of human rights. Such people in gov and judges do NOT deserve to represent us

  35. I was reading some of the earlier comments where some were calling men scum because they were not claiming children who weren’t theirs biologically, ill explain it to the woman and the man-poser: a man is responsible for the consequences of HIS actions, if you can’t grasp that, shame on you, you can google responsibility and solve the rest of the mystery later so your head doesn’t explode.

  36. im sorry but it sounds like the women are the ones saying how can you do this to the children by leaving them knowing they are not yours by DNA testing. Seriously, I think a real man would stay in the children lives but he should not be accounted for paying for them. He works hard for his money and this is not fair to him or his family. Why should he be punished for his unlawful ex-wife poor decisions. I love how many people are bashing on these dads when they have done nothing wrong but try to do the right thing and when they felt that maybe I should get a DNA because for a while or years I have always felt that maybe….just maybe the kids do not resemble me and they resemble her ex etc. he gets a DNA and now he is the a$$. Come on if this situation was switched you know women would fight hard and strong and get what they what and in turn they are still getting this regardless of the truth. It truly is not fair to have someone pay with their hard working money for children that are not theirs. It would be cowardly if they left the children’s lives completely but if he is willing to continue to be a father figure why should he have to pay for his unlawful, deceitful ex-wife’s mistakes. No one really knows the relationship and in that case I am speaking about my newly husband, who was cheated on from the beginning of his last marriage and throughout their entire marriage he chose to stay with her because of the kids but left when he she officially moved on in front of his face with her ex from when they first got together and decided its my time to leave. Now her 2 new babies look like her kids which where fathered by her ex. hmmmmm strange….no don’t think so…so why isn’t it fair for him to question her loyalty? You can not judge unless your in the situation. Its not right to take money either from someone that did nothing wrong and by court through DNA proves he is not the father. If anyone should be found guilty should be the mothers who are okay with taking money from men whom aren’t their children’s fathers this is wrong and should be considered fraud. More good fathers should be and need to be looked out for. These type of mothers should be fined and penalized from using public aid, Medicaid etc. They chose not to work for laziness and I refuse to be okay for paying money to them every month or week for their liquor, cigarettes and junk food. This is ridiculous and the government really needs to start cracking down on these programs, and maybe it would have many women to start thinking “maybe I should use a condom because children, babies, etc are expensive”. But no many think its okay if I get pregnant there are government programs wic, welfare, etc. Sorry but this is bull and not appropriate for the American who is hard working and paying taxes, our taxes whom that are going to these kind of people making poor judgments. But “these biologically fathers and tax payers are paying for their mistakes really”? Our society is really screwed up and really need to take people’s actions into consideration.

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