Early Admission At ISIS U: Suicide Bomber Instructor Accidentally Blows Up Himself And Class

180px-Suicide_Bomber_vest_at_ComicCon_2007,_San_Diego,_CASchoolClassroomSometimes one has to acknowledge the possibility that there is a God . . . with a wicked sense of humor. In Iraq, a commander at a terrorist camp was teaching a class on suicide bombings with a belt packed with explosives. There is now an opening on the faculty after the instructor accidentally blew himself up with his suicidal students. It was a case of Publish or And Perish.

The explosion killed the leader and 21 other members of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. Suicide bombings are up in Iraq and the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria is the ivy league of murderous fanatics. It was originally called “Al Qaeda in Iraq,” but Al Qaeda actually disavowed the group. I am not sure what is worse: blowing up your class on suicide bombing or being so violent and hateful that even Al Qaeda wants nothing to do with you. It is like Justin Beiber and Charlie Sheen ditching you on a Saturday night because you are bit too wild for their tastes.

In addition to 22 militants killed, 15 others were wounded. Eight militants were arrested at the scene and the police seized explosives packed in at least 10 vehicles as well as heavy weapons.

The story also reaffirms the preference of many students to sit in the back of class. However, I understand that the biological terror course just had a serious drop in registered students while the “Origami for Allah” seminar is overflowing at Ole ISIS University (“The Fightin’ Sunni”).

This would seem a win-win situation. The dead will claim paradise while we can be rid of a couple dozen assuring murderers. Nevertheless, the Sunni organization continues to aspire to kill innocent men, women, and children, including 50 suicide attacks occurred in Iraq in November (compared with three in November 2012). This accident probably spared hundreds of civilians from the lethal passage to paradise taught by the ISIS.

Source: NYT

26 thoughts on “Early Admission At ISIS U: Suicide Bomber Instructor Accidentally Blows Up Himself And Class

  1. my reaction – oh thank you, thank you Lord !!!
    God help everyone born in the middle east these days – what a crazy place and as for Islam – I am rather ‘fed up’ with the whole belief system myself – why can’t they just do their own thing in their own little corner and leave the world alone ?

  2. “Sometimes one has to acknowledge the possibility that there is a God . . . with a wicked sense of humor.”

    While somewhat tongue-in-cheek, nevertheless considering the amount of successful bombings brought about by similar education, it’s clear this is merely a matter of statistics and not the result of a sometimes-benign/comical sky monster who, in light of the thousands of American (et al.) deaths, fails daily to live up to the whole infinite love thing.

  3. It is not the first time people making terrorist bombs have had things go bad. As Robert Burns wrote,
    “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
    Gang aft agley,
    An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
    For promis’d joy!”

    This Apache helicopter crew had a grandstand view of the event.

  4. Total utter bellylaugh:

    “I am not sure what is worse: blowing up your class on suicide bombing or being so violent and hateful that even Al Qaeda wants nothing to do with you.”

  5. “Publish or Parish” is a Jesuit saying. This means that if you are not a good student and thence a good academian and publish some scholarly paper that you will end up fleecing the flock at a Parish. And ya that is not a mis spulling of academian, it is Kardasian for bad teacher. And those that can do; those who cant: teach; those who cant teach: teach teachers. So there is a lesson in all of this including the Jesuit aspect.

  6. LOVE IT! I have always thought a good way to cut down on suicide bombers is to give them a practice range where they could practice with live suicide vests. I think most of them are stupid enough to take up the offer.

  7. The first thing I thought whel I heard about this info is if innocent civilians were among the victims.

    My second thought was: “well, good riddance, less civilian-killing terrorists in Iraq.”

    The only folks I have pity for are the janitor and the innocent families of these terrorists-in-training; for the terrorists, I say : “karma made them hoist by their own petards.”

  8. Hoisted, quite literally, on his own petard.

    Had there been a zero tolerance policy at that school I’m sure the “professor” would have been saved.

  9. If they had filmed this it’d be a great teaching moment…..of what not to do….did anyone hear the instruction say…. Hey, hold my beer…..you gonna like this,…l

  10. Talk about blowing up your grade..

    Professor Ackbar’s classes are a blast!…

    Class attendance is exploding!…

    Good teachers will find a way to ignite their students’ minds…

    The school should have outlawed the game “smear the queer”..

    The school’s varsity team is on FIRE!…

    We got embers, yes we do! We got embers, how bout YOU?…

    Oh man I could do this all day=)

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