First there was the Reichstag and now there is the Ritestag. The Campbell family of Easton, Pa., is up in arms over the denial of a birthday cake for their three-year-old boy: Adolf Hitler Campbell. ShopRite refused to make a cake for the genocidal murderer namesake — infuriating his siblings Pol Pot Campbell and The-Rape-of-Nanking Campbell.
Ok, Adolph does not have siblings with those names, but he does have siblings named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell (almost 2) and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (almost 1). Strangely, the parents are sporting strangely normal monikers of Heath and Deborah. In the meantime, Eichman (not a Campbell) has been arrested in Delaware.
Heath, 35, is himself outraged by objections to the name, insisting “They need to accept a name. A name’s a name. The kid isn’t going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did.”
True, it is doubtful that three-year-old Adolph Hitler Campbell stabs nightly at a map of Russia screaming Lebensraum! Yet, there still is that odd preference for naming a child after a man who killed so many children and other innocents. Besides, didn’t Hitler say “I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature?” If so, from a Nazi-naturalist viewpoint, what is the gripe against ShopRite?
Fortunately for the Campbells, Wal-Mart proved to have the Reich-stuff and made the cake for them and the birthday went off without a hitch (accept for blaming Jews for lighting the cake on fire — ok I made that last part up as well).
I am a bit surprised that ShopRite did not quote the original Adolph Hitler by writing on the order, “The day of individual happiness has passed.”
22 thoughts on “Mein Kake: Adolph Hitler (Campbell) Refused Birthday Cake at ShopRite”
Comments are closed.