For those math geeks ready to party hearty, Square Root day is back. These days come only nine times each century and March 3, 2009 is one such day. (3/3/09 or the square root of nine). Citizens should be cautious as pocket-protector and pencil laden math fiends hit the streets across America looking for some crazy fun with calculators and multiplication tables. It is the one day that you can party like it is the 1999 Math Game.
Square Root Day comes with contests in Redwood, California. The prize is a date with an actual non-inflatable person. Ok, I lied, it is $339.
The last Square Root day was five years ago, Feb. 2, 2004, which happened to coincide with Groundhog Day.
Women named Leslie are particularly at risk because geeks can spell their names on calculators. (That is how I won over my wife). Women or men named Leslie may want to go by Lisa or Larry until after midnight when the mathophiles return to their lairs.
For those who find themselves cornered by math geeks seeking a good time, here is a couple of tips.
First, do not fall for the suggestion of “coming up stairs for some long division” or to “look at my scribblings.”
Second, if asked by math toughs what you think about Archimedes, Euclid, Sir Isaac Newton, Pythagoras, Blaise Pascal, Carl Gauss, Aryabhatta, Ramanujam, just say that you like them all and keep walking.
Third, if you are surrounded, throw out a difficult but intriguing math problem like Pierre de Fermat’s mind teaser: propose that xn + yn = zn has no non-zero integer solutions for x, y and z when n > 2. That took 350 years to solve. As they debate it, walk away quietly.
Albert (Love is all relative) Einstein once said that “Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.” Yet, it was on Square Root Day that he got really frisky as shown on this fetching beach shot:
He would often prowl the beaches on Square Root Day, looking for acute girls with perfect linear equations.
For those math geeks heading out to try to conjugate, there are a couple of math pick up line sites that can help here and here. Some are a bit risky like “I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.” One of my favorites is “Honey, you’re sweeter than pi.” It is enough to make the strongest math major swoon.
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