Scientists in England have declared the tune below to be the most relaxing tune in the history of human civilization. Aside from the expected lawsuit from Kenny G, the claim is based on a study of 40 women (no men) that selected the tune over pieces by Enya, Mozart and Coldplay. The claim is that “Weightless” can produce a trance-like calm. Much like Gingrich at a Tea Party Convention.
The exclusion of men may be explained by the funding corporation for the study: bubble bath and shower gel firm Radox Spa.
“Weightless” is designed by specialists to use particular frequencies and pattern that causes “entrainment” where brainwaves and heart rate synchronise with the rhythm.
One issue that is worth exploring is whether there is a gender difference between what women and men find relaxing. Leslie often complains about my tendency to watch cowboy and war movies before bed as not relaxing while relationship films tend to add to my stress. My suspicions were heightened by the claim that the music is even more relaxing that a “massage, walk or cup of tea.” I am from the Midwest where a massage is considered third base and I generally do not drink tea.
Many of the top songs in history appear to have come from the last ten years. I guess we are just a more relaxed generation. Just for the record, here are the top 10 most relaxing tunes with a few instant reviews:
1. Marconi Union – Weightless — this is low key to be sure but it disturbingly reminds me of the music played to Sol Roth (Edward G. Robinson) in the suicide chamber in the movie Soylent Green.
2. Airstream – Electra — this one I also like though so mellow that it is almost catatonic.
3. DJ Shah – Mellomaniac (Chill Out Mix) — I am not sure about English women but this one sent my dog Molly running around the room when I played it this morning. I think it is the chimes, but she was not relaxed.
4. Enya – Watermark — this one I like and have heard before.
5. Coldplay – Strawberry Swing — which shows a hyper-kinetic individual and one of the least popular Coldplay tunes.
6. Barcelona – Please Don’t Go — which I truly hate and would lead me to pounding out my brains on the bathtub rim.
7. All Saints – Pure Shores — which comes with a very spooky, unnerving video that leave you thinking you are being stalked by anemic women.
8. Adele Someone Like You — which I like but it is interesting that one of the top ten songs in the history of the World just got on the charts in the last few months.
9. Mozart – Canzonetta Sull’aria — which is song in this video by two over-wrought women in a video that looks like a musical version of Little Women.
10. Cafe Del Mar – We Can Fly — which I find at points more annoying than relaxin.
Do you have any alternative suggestions? (Muscrat Love nominations will be crushed by the management)
Here is the top most relaxing tune: Soundcloud
WARNING TO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY OR DRIVE DURING THE ENJOYMENT OF THIS TUNE
Of course, if these songs result in the claimed trance-like effect in bathtubs, they should be called “Songs To Drown By.”
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