Ellis Doyle, 26, appears hard up for more than cash. He was caught on videotaped at an Ohio adult novelty store stealing an assortment of sex toys and lubricant and then leaving with the upper half of a $2000 sex doll. Before taking the torso however he put a $46.99 blonde wig on its head. The mannequin’s name is “Eva.” Fittingly the store, Cirilla ,advertises “Where Fun & Fantasy Meet.”
Doyle reportedly entered through a ventilation pipe in Cirilla’s, a shop in Elyria around 2:45 AM Saturday. He originally did not steal the torso. He briefly left with goods and tried to return but the door had locked behind him. He then reentered through the roof and spotted “Eva” and stripped off her clothing, took the upper half, and added the wig.
With the help of videotape, police quickly located Doyle who was charged with a breaking and entering charge. The stolen goods were valued at about $2650 — $2000 of which was Eva’s torso.
Eva by the way was found discarded outside a Red Roof Inn, so Doyle can probably forget any conjugal visits.
I am reminded of Federico Fellini’s “Casanova” (1976) starring Donald Sutherland, with his mechanical doll, Rosalba:
He’s on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/MLGOG?hc_ref=SEARCH&fref=nf
He evidently works for a contractor. He’s a bitter man at 27. Among his observations are this one, dated 26 December 2015:
I think I’m a little bitter and disappointed that the majority of these super pretty and sexy women are selfish, lazy and dumb. Shit got me heated. So in 2016 I have a new approach. Ladies, If you don’t have great common sense or street smarts I can’t date or have sex with you. Also I’m cracking down no broke bitches either. Also I’m cracking down, no trifling shit either. Mattress on the floor??? ❌
Can’t cook?? ❌
Bitchy attitude ❌
Did I leave anything out??????
These are sentiments he shares with the public.
Yeah, dude, you left something out: you’re no prize either, so maybe these “super pretty and sexy” babes just aren’t all that interested in you. Maybe you should either stop being so shallow, or get yourself a blonde blow-up girlfriend.
Evidently a police officer recognized him on the security video. It doesn’t specify what previous run-ins he’s had with law enforcement.
He’s 27, unmarried, and childless, and his Facebook page gives no clues about any vocational training he’s had. If he wants to build a domestic life, he might concentrate on being a better earner and look for women who are looking for a husband. Such is a more elevated activity than burgling cheesy retail shops.
Evidently it had been awhile for this guy. 😉 I do give him points for getting the wig. Personal appearance is always important, even in blow-up sex toys.
If you are looking for a good miniseries, HBO just concluded an 8 part miniseries, The Night Of. A classic murder mystery that will win some Emmy Awards. I give it 4 stars.
I second that.
SWM, There’s talk of continuing this series. There are so many good characters. My bride and I really like the prosecutor. Hopefully, if they do a follow-up, it will be better than the 2nd season of True Detective. Prediction: Tuturro wins an Emmy.
The prosecutor, Jeanie Berlin,is Elaine May’s daughter. I hope there is a second season.
JT, LOL! Obviously this randy gent is an oral sex guy. I would run his DNA w/ any unsolved sexual assaults. He looks bad.
Oh, we’ve all done that.
The man must be mad. He need only have gone to a bar!
What a dork!
Maybe he was on his way to UT Austin to join the “cocks not Glocks” protesters
This is an awesome story. I love America. You can’t beat it. (Pardon the pun) I’ll ALWAYS stand for the National Anthem.