Bethlehem patrolman Glenn C. Woolard, 35, raised a curious defense recently after he was pulled over after a spotted him fondling himself while driving and “waiving it around.” After being caught literally with his pants down, Woolard did not deny the actions but rather insisted that he was doing it as a responsible driver to stay awake. Most of us just pull over to a Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts, but Woolard apparently requires something more carnal than caffeinated.
Woolard reportedly first denied the allegations but then fell back on the good driver defense. He insisted that none of it was done for sexual gratification. So far the defense is falling short. He was charged with two counts of indecent exposure and disorderly conduct.
Notably, police were seeking a car with the same description from a prior “sighting” by another woman.
Woolard has had a distinguished career of public service. He was honored in May with another officer with a citation for assisting residents out of a burning building. He has never had disciplinary problems in his three years with the department and perviously served with the Army’s 75th Ranger Battalion and had multiple tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was also drafted in the 10th round by the San Francisco Giants after his graduation from Kutztown University. He was a star pitcher but never made it past the minor leagues.
If these incidents are proven, there is obviously a serious compulsion involved here. It would seem to call for treatment rather than jail, particularly given the public service record of Woolard. What do you think?
I’m writing in the Wiener/Holder ticket!
Autumn, now I’m the one who can’t stop laughing!
What happened to the Holder doctrine “too big to fail”? Oh, right, that only applies to wealthy, powerful white collar criminals.
Well, apart from the usual puns about autoeroticism applicable in this case, I’d agree that what we have here is a treatable compulsion. I don’t think jail time would serve anybody’s interests in this case. There may even be some medications that could help address the compulsion, along with psychotherapy.
There have been some high-profile cases which have damaged the careers of some very talented individuals who have been caught in the act. Paul Rubens (Pee Wee Herman) and Fred Willard come to mind. This is a shame and shows what little progress has made in dealing with the complexities of human sexuality.
Here is a relatively early paper on the subject, and I’m sure that much progress has been made in psychiatry and psychology to deal with this compulsion.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1469-7610.1968.tb02208.x/abstract
How big was it, that people could see it from outside the car?????
He should simply resign now. In police culture they would needle him nearly every day he went to work and the incidents will follow him for the rest of his career, even if he moved to another agency.
It is especially tragic when someone in a trusted position, such as law enforcement, falls like this, if it is true. He should be tested for mental illness or some kind of breakdown. Has he been leading a double life all this time? Is this the extent of this or is there more? Or is this some kind of mental break? No matter what, something is seriously wrong and he needs to be pulled from the police force.
Why do people consider their cars to be encased in 2 way mirror, where they think they can see out but no one can see in?
It is just so awful when someone falls like this at the end of a successful career. And we hear about this all the time, like that recent Turley article on the white collar bank robber. When people should be enjoying their memories of their life, they make terrible decisions and have to spend their latter years in regret.
Waving it around. What was he doing practicing for a porn movie.
What a shame. He’ll spend the rest of his life having to make up for it. I hope that he accepts help for whatever he’s going through and that people don’t forget the otherwise exemplary individual.
Nobody’s perfect, and I’d take him a dozen times over those two circle jerks on stage last night.
Such a complete and total lack of judgment and impulse control does not bode well for someone with his occupation. He should be strongly encouraged to find another job.
He’s got a resume made for political office.
It would be a perfect world if the police report contained the phrase, ” Aye, there’s the rub!”
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
Another stroke of genius?
Let’s get a hair analysis to find out what this public servant is/was on. BTW, is it OK for cops to be wigging out on SSRI’s – even though these drugs may give them suicidal/homicidal thoughts?
” served with the Army’s 75th Ranger Battalion”
I think maybe you mean the 75th Ranger Regiment. 75th Rangers is one of best trained, most deadly units in the military today.
Some readers may recall that elements of 75th Rangers were involved in the well publicized Black Hawk Down incident in Somalia.
They may not know that at one time 75th rangers had about the best WIA survival rate of any unit in the military due to their development of techniques in tactical combat casualty care and reordering of priorities in the first minutes of being wounded. Their stats did not go down. Their approach to casualty care is now widespread throughout the military.
Thanks BFM – that’s really interesting to learn about the history of the 75th. I wonder what advances they made in wounded in action care that made such a difference, and if trauma centers are taking note.
This is an interesting story that has been written about. The interested reader really should google and read the articles written by members of the 75th Rangers.
Speaking as an admiring layman, medical staff at 75 Rangers realized that they could save lives by changing priorities in treatment and pushing the skills for treatment down to the individual soldier.
The outlook of 75 Rangers is that you don’t have to be a surgeon or even a medic to save lives in combat. Every soldier receives training in immediate care. Every soldier caries materials to control the flow of blood. Soldiers are trained to stop the flow of blood first, relieve chest compression, if present, then clear the air path and restore breathing, if necessary.
Giving every soldier the knowledge and materials for self help and buddy help, and changing the order of treatment has resulted in significant increase in survival rates, allowing medical evacuation.
I think the idea is to continually delay the climax, therefore never having to deal with the “Happy Ending.” I am aware of couples who do this to each other as they drive, however I think there is a Happy Ending. 🙂 Still, I think it would keep you awake.
If he was doing it to keep awake, what was he planning after the happy ending?
My wife always accuses me of going right to sleep.
The schlong arm of the law.
If the charges are proven this man is unfit to be a law enforcement officer. I do think the disorderly conduct charge is a bit of a stretch.
“schlong arm of the law” ? !!! Darren, I don’t often agree with you, but you nailed this one right on the head (so to speak).
Agreed.