Bizarre, Society

Scandal Strikes NFL Draft As Pro-Packer Tweet Uncovered From Bears QB Mitchell Trubisky

Like many Bears fans, I watched the NFL draft with two expectations.  First, there is the annual booing of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell who is justifiably the least popular commissioner in history for his years of ripping off fans and filling his own pockets (and those of his aides) at the expense of the game.  Second, there was the third spot draft selection of the Bears.  To everyone’s surprise, the Bears traded for a one spot jump with the 49ers, which took the team to the cleaners in the trade.  It was the shocker of the draft to give away so many slots for Mitchell Trubisky from North Carolina, who was hotly debated as a top QB candidate given his limited playing time as a starter.  I do not question Trubisky’s selection but the deal strikes me as much too sweet for the 49ers when they only dropped one slot.  The Bears must have had intelligence that other teams were going to grab the second slot and Trubisky.  Fans were still scratching their heads when the scandal broke.  In 2015, Trubisky tweeted “Hell yeah, Go Packers.”  The fans can deal with most scandals in the past of a GQ draft pick.  Killing a hobo along the Ohio railroad tracks?  Youthful indiscretion.  Selling heroin to school children?  Excessive entrepreneurial spirit.  However, tweeting “Go Packers” as part of anything other than an ironic or menacing threat is a serious problem in a city where we are raised to root for two teams: the Bears and anyone playing the Packers.  Trubisky has pledged to delete the tweet, but the damage is done. He is a cheesehead . . . and he is not even from Wisconsin.

Chicago is now in a full scandal mode and demanding to know what GM Ryan Pace knew and when did he knew it.

There are no real good options here.  The best three are admittedly not ideal:

  1.  Packers conversion therapy, which can take years and raise legal and ethical questions in turning a cheesehead into a Bears fan.
  2. Clockwork Orange conditioning involving Trubisky being forced to watch hours of disturbing images of Packers fans eating cheese plates and slobbering over beers in Lambeau Field with his eye held open as music plays Bear Down Bears.
  3. Give up the remaining draft picks to just give Trubisky to the Packers in exchange for a year supply of Gouda

Now make no mistake about it “some of my best friends” are Packers fans.  But we do not intermarry.  (Well, at least not until recently).

I am not sure how the Halas Hall will deal with the greatest scandal to hit the Windy City since the Black Sox scandal and the cute little kid telling Shoeless Joe Jackson “say it ain’t so Joe.”  I intend to meet Trubisky in knickers and a beanie hat at the stadium on his first day and ask “what’s the hitch, Mitch?”

38 thoughts on “Scandal Strikes NFL Draft As Pro-Packer Tweet Uncovered From Bears QB Mitchell Trubisky”

  1. (music- )

    When you tweet you’re a twit.
    You’re a twit all the way!
    From your first football game …
    To your last dying day!

  3. Feels like a cold wind blowing–or maybe it is just the “NFL Draft”!

  4. Hmm! North Korea, iran, Syria, ISIS, Russia, Ukraine, Al-qaeda, Hamas, Hezbollah—and we are concerned about the draft pick of the Bears? Maybe it is time for an executive order to just ELIMINATE THE DRAFT!

  5. Squeek wants to be free to pee, but not w/ you and me. I think she needs to write a poem on this topic. I humbly suggest including poop as well as pee.

    1. The scatological mind of Spinelli strikes again.

      What a guy!

      With such brilliant observations on the state of the NFL draft, it’s guaranteed that his observations on state affairs are as equally brilliant.

    2. Thou asketh, and Thou shalt Receive! An Irish Poem on my withdrawal of financial support from football!

      I Want My “Stall Back”???
      An Irish Poem by Squeeky Fromm

      Ohhh, Go F–K yourself Roger Goodell!
      And you NCAA twerps as well!
      Cause you want me to do,
      Number One – – – even Two!
      With Transsexual Freaks! But— NO SALE!!!

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

        1. Yeah! What you said! Although I do like this one:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJqigdfR0e0

          You know what else I like about Byron??? He wrote in English, while Shelley had a bad case of Thee/Thou Syndrome and often a bad case of Contractionitis. At least I think it was Shelley*. Ozymandias was pretty good, but Skylark is and was a mess IMHO. You might want to read this eftsoon:

          https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/45146

          Squeeky Fromm
          Girl Reporter

          *Maybe it was Samuel Coleridge Taylor of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner fame??? Who, I recently discovered was Negro, who pretended to be white, I guess because of prejudice and stuff. Anyway, it looks like he also wrote Hiawatha!

      2. Squeek, There is a gentle soul of a man who walks the beach in San Diego. Every morning he writes the verse of a poem in the sand. He uses an umbrella. He appears to be schizophrenic and controlled by meds. Myself and others stop and discuss the days poem w/ him. We share a love of Shakespeare and he did some lines from one of my favorites, As You Like It, the other day.

          1. Paul, Pleasantly coherent. As you know, schizophrenics are often very intelligent, but coherence can be a problem. This guy quotes poems from memory. He looks to be on thorazine or some similar drug. So, his response are slow, but they are on point and brief. All our conversations have been about poetry and poets..no rambling.

            1. Nick – which beach? I may be traveling to SD this summer and will stop and visit him. 🙂

              1. Paul, Mission Beach. He picks his spot on the beach usually north of Belmont Park and south of Santa Barbara St. His name is Richard. He knows my name and if you mention Nick and my love of Shakespeare I think it will jog his memory. Richard is tall, lean, dark curly hair and always has his umbrella in hand. Can’t miss him. He writes in the morning, usually between 8a-11a. He’s originally from Pittsburgh.

  6. Makes no difference to me because I am girlcotting the NFL because they want to make me go pee with a bunch of sex freaks. Same with the NCAA. Screw the whole bunch of them!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  7. Jay Cutler has announced he’s not ready to retire. I set it up, you all come up w/ the punchline.

    1. For example: Cutler’s chronic sprained vagina issues are now a thing of the past after surgery and therapy.

  9. The Bears management, after years of abuse at the hands of Packer QBs, decided to fight fire with fire and draft a “Packer” QB of their own. It’s a long shot, but we Packer fans recognize the sheer desperation and the flattery inherent in the pick, thank you.

  11. Here is the real #1 pick. A must see if you haven’t.

    DRAFT DAY is a 2014 American sports drama film directed by Ivan Reitman and starring Kevin Costner. The premise revolves around the general manager of the Cleveland Browns (Costner) deciding what to do after his team acquires the number one draft pick in the upcoming National Football League draft.

  12. As a Vikings fan I can only wish the worst for the Bears or Packers, since the Vikes have plenty of their own issues.

  14. Packers fans everywhere rejoice! Even Da Behrs first draft pick wants to be a Green Bay Packer.

    This is better than Titletown putting a fund together to keep Jay Cutler in Chicago until his retirement.

  16. The Bears got hosed. Pace used four picks to move up one spot to draft a quarterback with a whopping 13 games as a starter whose play actually deteriorated as the 8-5 season progressed. He also knows next to nothing about pro-style offense; he’s currently working on taking snaps from under center.

    We can hear the laughter all the way from San Francisco.

    Pace has also practically forced us to trade away our second round pick for lower picks just so we have enough bodies in training camp.

  18. The Bears have history of terrible drafting. I am afraid they are acting true to form here. The Bears just picked up a back-up quality QB from Tampa Bay. They are paying him $14M for this coming season. So now they draft another back-up quality QB first (and give up 4 draft choices to move up one slot). Could the Bears be planning to pay Tribunsky $14M also? It boggles the mind. This may be a good season to give up watching the NFL.

  19. Correction. Mitch Tribinsky was the #1 QB in the draft and was an excellent choice for the Bears. Period.

    1. Possible. We’ll see.

      One unnamed professional source described this year’s QB draft class as among the worst in many years.

      Consider that the 49ers current HC Kyle Shanahan has a record of establishing career best records with several NFL QBs. One can reasonably conclude KS has above average record working with QBs. This HC’s current team whiffed on QBs in its first two picks, instead preferring defensive players.

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