Shakes The Clown Charged With Sexual Assault

Shakes the Clown allegedly added an unwanted scary element to a haunted house this Halloween: groping women.  Two women complained to police and, according to a criminal complaint, Brandon Goral, 43, grabbed their breasts as they were waiting to enter a “haunted barn” at a campground in Janesville, Wisconsin.

The women reported that they were assaulted by a “clown with green hair” who walked up to them and asked, “Do you want me to Donald Trump?”   He then allegedly  “made a hand gesture towards their vaginas and made a squeezing motion.” He then allegedly grabbed their breasts.

Goral insists that he was “asked multiple times by different females to grab their breasts for photos.” He is now charged with two counts of misdemeanor sexual assault.

12 thoughts on “Shakes The Clown Charged With Sexual Assault”

  1. I could never really get why so many people claim to be terrified of clowns, perceiving them to be weird and creepy. I think that I am beginning to comprehend the aversion.

  2. If you have a child born this year do not name him Al. If your last name is Weinstein then change it. At least add a letter n at the end.

  3. “The women reported that they were assaulted by a “clown with green hair” who walked up to them and asked, “Do you want me to Donald Trump?” ”

    Unlike so many others, at least Shakes the Clown had the courtesy to ask first. If his lawyer can raise the question of whether the victims actually said no, Shakes may be back performing, and who knows what else, sooner than his victims might imagine.

    1. Yei magically, they can’t charge James Comey for doing what Reality Leigh Winner did. I guess it pays to be rich, white, and old.

  4. Bama ‘Publican Party are hoping to use him as a write in candidate in the special election for Sessions’ Senate seat. He is as qualified a candidate as they have seen for that seat, and they must do something to avoid losing it to that Leebral Damnitcrat.

    His campaign slogan is “At least I’m not a Child Molester or a Damnitcrat”

    Trump commented on the decision and the assault allegations by saying “He denies it, he denies it all… I believe the Clown;
    after all, he’s a Clown so I know he’s a good person with a good heart”.

    When Mitch McConnel was asked to comment on the Clown – he simply said that “as a professional Clown, he will fit in perfectly with his colleagues in the Senate”.

  5. When I read the lead line I immediately assumed it was about Biden. Strange individual. Mistakes being used to get votes and publicly groping that Generals or was it Admirals wife with preparation to be President. Can’t think of anything else in the way of preparation he has engaged in but maybe there is more to the eventual story waiting to be told.

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