We often discuss alleged crimes committed with bizarre or baffling elements. Even in that company, Eric Dion Warren is a standout. He obtained a loaner car from a BMW dealer, drove the car to a bank robbery, and then drove back to the dealer and tried to use the stolen bank money for the down payment on the car. He clearly took the slogan “Sheer Driving Pleasure” a tad too far.
Warren borrowed the car from a Wolfforth, Texas dealer in the summer of 2019 before allegedly he driving the vehicle over to the bank and handing over a fast-food bill with a note reading “This is a f—— robbery. Play with me and die. I want $10,000 in 50 and 100 dollar bills now you got 1 minute or I will kill you.” He then pulled what looked like a gun and repeated the demand.
He then return to the dealership, displayed the money and asked to buy the car with $3000 downpayment. That was just 15 minutes after the robbery but an employee had already received a call about the robbery. The dealership called police and Warren reportedly confessed. The $5,000 matched the serial numbers of the stolen cash and he was found with a pellet gun.
What is interesting is that “aggravated robbery” in Texas requires a “deadly weapon” but also allows a charge if the crime “places another person in fear of imminent bodily injury or death”:
Sec. 29.03. AGGRAVATED ROBBERY. (a) A person commits an offense if he commits robbery as defined in Section 29.02, and he:
(1) causes serious bodily injury to another;
(2) uses or exhibits a deadly weapon; or
(3) causes bodily injury to another person or threatens or places another person in fear of imminent bodily injury or death, if the other person is:
(A) 65 years of age or older; or
(B) a disabled person.
(b) An offense under this section is a felony of the first degree.
(c) In this section, “disabled person” means an individual with a mental, physical, or developmental disability who is substantially unable to protect himself from harm.
Acts 1973, 63rd Leg., p. 883, ch. 399, Sec. 1, eff. Jan. 1, 1974. Amended by Acts 1989, 71st Leg., ch. 357, Sec. 2, eff. Sept. 1, 1989; Acts 1993, 73rd Leg., ch. 900, Sec. 1.01, eff. Sept. 1, 1994.
In this case, the police could allege that the flashing of the pellet gun satisfied the second element for the higher charge.
What is clear is that while he was driving “the ultimate driving machine,” Eric Dion Warren is not the ultimate driving criminal.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and I though Florida Man was bad….. sometimes a stupid criminal is worth the ink spilled. This made my day.
The Funny Times used to have a regular feature called “Least Competent Criminals”. Did you crib this from there?
Jonathan: It must be a slow news day when you choose to report on a black guy who robs a bank and then tries to buy a BMW with the proceeds of the robbery. You could have written about a bill (Senate Bill 2111) now making its way in the Republican controlled Kentucky Senate. The bill would make it a crime to “insult” a police officer during a riot. The bill is in response to the protests last summer over the police killing of George Floyd and the police killing of Breonna Taylor in Louisville during a botched police raid. Opponents of the legislation say the bill would stifle dissent and criminalize free speech. As a big defender of the free speech rights of conservative university professors and UK TV presenters, like Piers Morgan, I would think you would want to address the draconian Kentucky Senate bill. I guess not.
Wow just like China did to us with the Wuhan virus bio warfare attack. Then sell us billions of PPE, get us locked down so their economy is the only one banging it out. You have to ask yourselves why are they running. The answer is this is a virus to cull the world of the weak and elderly specifically. They have more people by 50% then they need. They really don’t mind losing millions of their least productive. Plus they might have allot more knowledge of the virus and vaccines then they tell us. WHO just believes them out of hand. Why after a BIO warfare attack are we not at war with them?
you can’t fix stupid
On Wall Street, they call it leverage.
Ha! True enough.
EB
😉
i smell click bait. Exactly how did this guy get a “loaner” car. Did he have a car being repaired by the dealership?
To me the only surprise is that this story isn’t out of Florida.
Creative negotiation strategy. This guy should hang with L’Orange. Maybe a little further down the road the Feds came make it happen.
Elvis Bug
He should’ve listened to Scotty Kilmer, BMWs are Crap.
Rev up your engines!
One thing about life I can always tell the salesman to tell his sales manager is that I can’t buy this vehicle as their price is just to Ph’in high & it’ll only tick my mom off if I pay it.
I hate getting screwed on a car deal! LOL;) I’ve got to have one coming up we’ll see iI I can not fall in love with it & walk away if I need to.
Here you go, this clip reminds me of a few years back when I was pissed at having to buy my daughter another car. That was another helluva car deal.
Let’s hope he gets 20 or even more years to work on his craft in “extremely cool apartments where the glare of the sun is never bothersome.”
Lock him up in a VW bug handcuffed to the wheel. For one year. BMW matters.