Notice: Interruption of Service This Weekend For The End of Times
jonathanturley
As many people are aware, the world will end on May 21, 2011 which is likely to cause an interruption in service on the Turley blog. Fortunately, your host will be going to his annual weekend at Shrine Mont with other families. I expect our weekend bloggers to remain at their posts through the rapture while I await the rapture on a mountain top in Virginia in a pure and sanctified state. I remind everyone that during the end of the world we will maintain the policy of civility and decorum on the blog. Profanity and uncontrolled screaming are strongly discouraged. There is also a chance that anonymity will be lost in the post-rapture judgment on any trolls.
Last weekend in New York, the troops were out with signs announcing the end of the world. It took a bit of explaining to the kids, but I reminded them that this meant no end of term exams (which mollified them).
The Family Radio Worldwide and its leader Harold Camping have done an amazing job in informing millions of our collective demise this weekend. For us at the Turley blog, it is not an end but an opportunity. While I cleanse my soul at Shrine Mont (while fishing), I know that our bloggers will remain online up to the rapture for hundreds of millions of people surfing the Internet at the last minute. To help them, I wanted to add references to the most likely search terms for Saturday to help them reach our site:
1. Proper clothing for the rapture.
2. WiFi access in heaven.
3. Justin Bieber’s rapture schedule.
4. Can Obama block final judgment for Bush officials involved in torture program?
5. cheap homes for sale by members of the Family Radio Worldwide ministry.
Good luck, everyone. I will not be with you when the rapture occurs but I assure you that this blog is right with God. At the time of the final judgment, Turley blog regulars will be given preferential treatment and should fear not. If you are still a bit nervous, I recommend playing Captain & Tennille’s Muskrat Love while watching Under Siege 2: Dark Territory . Then, no matter what happens, it won’t seem quite so bad to leave this world behind.
