A Twinkie Diet Poem

Earlier this week, Professor Turley wrote a post about the “Twinkie Diet.” That story inspired me to pen a silly poem on the subject of Mark Haub’s junk food regimen for losing weight.

 

Eating junk food every day

Can melt your excess pounds away.

Count calories—it’s simple as that—

And you’ll be able to shed your fat.

Here is Mark Haub’s Twinkie diet—

Go on. I recommend you try it.

Here’s how to begin:

Pop a vitamin.

Drink a protein shake.

Eat a cream-filled cake.

Chew a brownie too.

Chug a Mountain Dew.

Crunch a veggie. EW!

Have a sticky bun

With some cinnamon.

Munch a nutty bar.

Mark your calendar.

Do that thirty days.

See how much you weighs.

You’ll be glad to find

You’ve left pounds behind.

The Twinkie Diet: Nutrition Professor Goes on Monthlong Junk Food Binge (AOL News)

 

Edited to add:

Here’s a book I’ll have to buy now: Twinkie, Deconstructed: My Journey to Discover How the Ingredients Found in Processed Foods Are Grown, Mined (Yes, Mined), and Manipulated into What America Eats by Steve Ettlinger.

Read about the book here.

 – Elaine Magliaro, Guest Blogger