JONATHAN TURLEY

Faux Phallus Far From Flaccid

Carolee Bildsten (left), 56, of Gurnee Illinois, has been charged with aggravated assault for threatening a Chicago police officer with a “rigid female pleasure device.” The officer was unharmed as he deftly deflected the devilish device.

After allegedly skipping out of her dinner tab at Joe’s Crab Shack, police found the allegedly intoxicated Bildsten lying in the grass down the street. She claimed she had the money to pay the bill at her home and officers escorted her there.

As she went into the dresser drawer to retrieve the money, she pulled out the “rigid female pleasure device” and held it over her head as she approached the officer in a threatening manner.

H/T msnbc.

-David Drumm (Nal)