Faux Phallus Far From Flaccid

Carolee Bildsten (left), 56, of Gurnee Illinois, has been charged with aggravated assault for threatening a Chicago police officer with a “rigid female pleasure device.” The officer was unharmed as he deftly deflected the devilish device.

After allegedly skipping out of her dinner tab at Joe’s Crab Shack, police found the allegedly intoxicated Bildsten lying in the grass down the street. She claimed she had the money to pay the bill at her home and officers escorted her there.

As she went into the dresser drawer to retrieve the money, she pulled out the “rigid female pleasure device” and held it over her head as she approached the officer in a threatening manner.

H/T msnbc.

-David Drumm (Nal)

15 thoughts on “Faux Phallus Far From Flaccid”

  1. eniobob,

    Nothing quite “hits the spot” like $128.6 million. That much money still won’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht to sail lazy circles around happiness all day. And if it can’t, shame on ya’.

  2. “This apparently isn’t her first brush with the law.”

    Who would’ve guessed…

  3. Okay folks porn shops have their place:

    Ticket Bought At Michigan Porn Shop Worth $129 Million

    TIM MARTIN | 11/12/10 09:32 PM | AP

    Mike Greer talks about his ‘Team Victory’ group’s $128.6 million winning lottery ticket during a news conference Friday, Nov. 12, 2010, in Lansing, Mich. A $129 million Powerball lottery ticket sold at an urban porn shop is being split by members of a group primarily from southeast Michigan. Separately, Steve Mays of Gladstone, Mich., right, came forward to claim a Mega Millions jackpot worth $141 million. The retiree, who wouldn’t disclose his age, bought the ticket at a convenience store.


    BTW I thought this of one of the many comments that were made hit home.

    tyger 18 minutes ago (4:02 PM)
    120 Fans
    LOL, nobody wants to own up to who bought the ticket.”

  4. roflol

    Blue-ise! I’m so shocked by your lackadaisical attitude toward assault with a vibrating weapon!


  5. Nal,

    What Elaine said. You may have just won headline of the year.

    Now my only question is was it loaded?

Comments are closed.