Christmas: The Morning After

We have had a great time in Chicago. The holiday went off without a hitch. The beef turned out great. I insert a whole head of garlic into the meat, which adds a great taste with the herb coating. With 29 people, it was a lot of beef but everything came off well and we had a wonderful family dinner with the Turleys from Bartlett, Naperville, Evanston, Highland Park and of course Virginia (as well as our friends Laura, Annie, Norman, and Jennifer). We finished the day with intense games of Quiz Up on our cellphones and iPads. As are now coming down from our sugar high from a record of cakes, pies, cookies, and other sweets.

Santa was up late dealing with a challenging letter over work conditions and safety regulations at the North Pole this year. Aidan’s letter raises some valid “concerns” despite the libelous content.

Dear Santa,

I have a few concerns about the elf workforce.

You have practically enslaved 100’s of elves to work non-stop . Also, you only work 1 day a year and have a bad diet. Don’t you think that’s a bad message to kids?

The fact that you live isolated also concerns me because there are no regulations.

Regards,

Aidan Turley

P.S. Your relationship with Mrs. Claus also seems to be an abusive one.

Santa responded to the letter after consulting with “legal” and saying that his legal counsel encouraged him to rethink the addition of Aidan on the “naughty list.” Instead, Santa responded with a series of denials and David Boies like warnings of the legal ramifications of writing defamatory allegations. Christmas counsel also noted that Aidan’s picture of Santa forcing elves to work at gunpoint was entirely baseless and actionable. Overall, however, it was a wonderfully litigious Christmas.