Dung Damages: English Researcher Seeks Damages for Loss Lizard Dropping

Lawyers are often asked to litigate over cars, cats, and every form of chattel. However, the attorney representing Daniel Bennett is seeking damages over his client’s loss of an invaluable bag of giant lizard dung. Bennett spent years collecting the dropping of the rare Butaan lizard, only to have Leeds University throw the bag of poop in the trash. The University has offered £500 for the 35kg bag. Bennett insists that that is an insulting offer for the loss of my “bag of lizard shit”.

Bennett the poop from remote areas of the Philippines. He won a scholarship to research the long though extinct animal — a close relative of the Komodo dragon.

He said that it took department 18 months to apologize. The offer amounts to $732 for 77 pounds, or roughly $10 a pound. Osetra or Siberian Sturgeon caviar can go for $100 per ounce. Even American hackleback caviar goes for $10 to $30 an ounce. Notably, even in the drug trade, the best drugs are called “good ****.” Well, this is the ultimate such product.

The greatest problem with being the lawyer in this case: the one-third contingency fee if the university simply makes restitution with a fresh bag of lizard dung.

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