Hey, Ladies, We’re Evolving!!!

The men on this blog finally have something to say to our spouses and significant others when confronted with complaints about toilet seats being left up or the lack of regular bathing: we are evolving faster than you. Of course, the new research showing that the Y chromosome is the fastest evolving in the human code may only confirm for many women that we are in need of serious evolutionary progress as a gender.

The study focused on the Y chromosomes from humans and chimpanzees. Dr. David Page, director of the prestigious Whitehead Institute in Cambridge and a professor of biology at MIT says “The Y chromosome appears to be the most rapidly evolving of the human chromosomes. It’s an almost ongoing churning of gene reconstruction. It’s like a house that’s constantly being rebuilt.”

So next time she tells you that you are a bum and waste of her time, you can now say “Come one, Honey, I am evolving as fast as I can.” What you do not have to mention is that our evolutionary surge is likely to develop a double jointed thumb for better clicker operation and greater skeletal flexibility for lying horizontal on a couch.

I personally have long argued to Leslie that I am an exciting work in progress and now Dr. Page supports my view.

Now for one of my favorite country tunes, which seems confirmatory of this study:

Now, Brad Paisley may not have a science degree by he speaks for many when he notes: ”
I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, “Yeah girls he’s come a long way”
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club.” Now he has a study to support the lyrics.

For Dr. Page’s next stage of research, here are the full lyrics:

“I’m Still A Guy”

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You’re probably thinking that you’re going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I’m still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I’d like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain’t proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I’m still a guy

I’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, “Yeah girls he’s come a long way”
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club

And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I’m still a guy

I’ll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
‘Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there’s dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
I don’t highlight my hair
I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain’t plucked
There’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy

For the full story, click here.