PM Cameron Calls For Fat Tax To Prevent England From Becoming . . . Well . . . Us

Well, we finally have been cited as the inspiration for reforms in England. Prime Minister David Cameron is suggesting a “fat tax” on foods to combat obesity and to avoid becoming like the United States — a nation of fat people. He appears to be unaware that we prefer to call ourselves a Rubenesque nation.

Denmark recently added a surcharge to foods containing more than 2.3% saturated fat. That would include butter, milk, cheese, pizza, meat, oil and processed food.

Cameron, however, asked citizens to look across the pond to ponder the cost of not taxing the fat.

“But frankly, do we have a problem with the growing level of obesity? Yes. Do we have a kind of warning in terms of – look at America, how bad things have got there – what happens if we don’t do anything? Yes, that should be a wake-up call.”

You’re welcome. This pays us back for the years of pointing to England as what happens if you do not take care of your teeth.

There was a time when Prime Ministers were bigger than life. Winston Churchill could literally eat David Cameron for lunch and have room for a Home Secretary and an after-dinner mint.

It is also short sighted. With global warming, sea levels are expected to rise. Rather than reduce pollution causing global warming, we have decided to simply make our people more buoyant by increasing their percentage of body fat. In contrast, England — an island nation — will remain composed of “sinkers” who will disappear under the waves of Britannia with only their workout tapes and low-fat wrappers marking the surface of where their once proud nation once stood. As we float and bob on the surface of the water, we will look across the pond with great satisfaction that our fat saved our civilization.

This is precisely why so many English people died without lifeboats on the Titanic. Had they followed our lead — rather than ridiculed our people — they would have popped up like corks in the Atlantic.

Churchill cut a different and more buoyant image. This is why he told the leaner Hitler “We are waiting for the long-promised invasion. So are the fishes.” Hitler was a sinker and Churchill knew it.

They have forgotten the original verse to Rule Britania:

The nations, not so fat as thee,
Must, in their turns, to waves fall;
While thou shalt flourish fat and free,
The dread and envy of them all.
“Rule, Britannia! rule the waves:
“Britons never will be slaves.”

Source: Guardian