Hello Dave: I Am Quantum Computer 9000

Do you remember HAL (Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer) in 2001 Space Odyssey, the super intelligent computer? Well, meet Quantum the new crystal-based computer. In Nature Magazine, scientists have announced that they have a crystal that will allow the creation of a quantum computer that would take a computer the size of the known universe to match it. To those scientists at the University of Sydney, just be careful when Quantum says “I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.” If you hear that, run for the airlock.

The scientists are exploring a new horizon of computing in the use of Quantum Computing — a level of computation that is almost difficult to imagine. The crystal based computer uses superposition, where a quantum particle known as a qubit appears to be in two distinct states at the same time. Increase the qubits, you increase the the number of “states” exponentially. I will pretend I understand that since the closest thing I ever heard to “qubits” was Bill Crosby in the construction of the Ark:

The problem with these quibits? Study co-author University of Sydney’s Dr Michael Biercuk: “They’re not easily checked by a classical computer which opens a whole variety of problems.” Well, yea, “Dave.” Why do I expect in some lab in Sydney a crystal computer is about to say: “Look [Micheal], I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.”

Source: Radio Australia as first seen on Reddit.