Site icon JONATHAN TURLEY

The Armor-Plated Yuppie: Columbian Designer Makes Bulletproof Polo Shirts

Colombian designer Miguel Caballero has the perfect accessory this year for that yuppie with everything: a bulletproof polo shirt. The 4-pound shirt at $4000 can stop an Uzi and is being marketed as the “Armani of bulletproof clothing.” Finally, all those yuppies who wore their polo collars up can claim to be nothing short of urban (lawn) warriors.

On various websites, customers can choose from various options:

OPTION IIA: 9mm / 40 Smith and Wesson FMJ
OPTION II: 9mm / .357 Magnum / 38 Super / Mini Uzi submachine gun
OPTION IIIA: Uzi machine gun / MP5,MP9 submachine gun / 44 Magnum SJHP / Stab-proof

Some sites state the price can go as high as $12,000 to make yourself into a yuppie tank.

Frankly, the stab proof option can come in handy at those rowdy lawn parties when Bif and Muffy start talking politics.

THe company claims such clients as”Steven Seagal, King Abdullah of Jordan, President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, President Alvaro Uribe of Colombia, and Prince Felipe of Spain.” I can understand Seagal given the reaction of most people demanding their money back after seeing one of his movies. Likewise, the threat of a PETA hit on Felipe alone is enough to prompt the purchase.

However, just as you have to discern the difference between water-proof and water-resistant, the devil is in the details on bulletproof polo shirts. When pressed, a company general manager admitted “bullet-resistent” may be more accurate. It is not clear how it does on salsa stains.

Source: Smart Money

Exit mobile version