The Chinese Government Moves To Ban The Pooh

 

The Chinese government is searching for a plump counter-revolutionary with a taste for honey and irony.  Yes, the Communist regime has banned Winnie the Pooh who is apparently a running dog exploiter bent on turning workers against the one and true Party.  The regime learned that the image of Pooh was being used as a surrogate for Xi Jinping as a way of getting around censorship laws (Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo is portrayed as Eeyore).  As a result, Pooh and presumably his capitalist overlord Christopher Robin are no longer welcomed in China.

The plump character does have remarkable resemblance to the Chinese leaders except that Pooh does not have labor camps, censors, and spies throughout the 100 acre woods.

Chinese censors are blocking both the name and picture of Pooh to protect the nation.

Some quotes regarding Pooh does show a greedy capitalist at work:

“Pooh always liked a little something at eleven o’clock in the morning, and he was very glad to see Rabbit getting out the plates and mugs; and when Rabbit said, ‘Honey or condensed milk with your bread?’ he was so excited that he said, ‘Both,’ and then, so as not to seem greedy, he added, ‘But don’t bother about the bread, please.’”

He also shows shocking reactionary notions of individuality:

“The things that make me different are the things that make me.”

Yet, other statements would seem perfect for the Chinese regimes in trying to break the Chinese of their thirst for knowledge and freedom:

“Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”