Pining for Yew: Man Arrested for Having Sex with Picnic Table

Arthur Price is charged in Ohio as a serial violator of . . . . picnic tables. He was allegedly filmed three times having sex with the picnic table in a public park. He is not unique, however, in his selection of paramours as the man-on-bike and man-on-gate stories below indicate. Nevertheless, the video of Ten Ten Reasons the Man Had Sex with a Picnic Table by Letterman are hilarious.

Price has allegedly admitted to having the human-on-picnic-table encounters and was charged with four counts of public indecency. It is now splinters in the relationship for Price and the table, since a restraining order or similar court order is likely to be added to any sentence.

For the full story, click here and here.

There seems to be an increase in these cases from the borderland of human-non-human relations. Another man was arrested for a liaison with a gate and yet another with bicycle, here and here. In the case of the “cycle-sexualist”, the man was in his own bedroom, which makes the possible criminal charge rather difficult to comprehend. Even if it were a tricycle, it would not be sex with a minor (though it might be “pedalphilia”). They had to use a master key to get into his flat after being alerted by cleaners. Robert Stewart, 51, pleaded guilty to a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. He will be put on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. They obviously take bike safety seriously in England. This is like charging Price with possession of pornography for his stack of Ikea and Marlo catalogs.

For the Letterman video, click here.