Cold Dead Finger Bumper Sticker Contest

With the final victory of the NRA in securing recognition of an individual right of gun ownership, it will now be time to retire that classic American icon: the “You Will Have to Peel My Cold Dead Fingers From My Gun” Bumper Sticker. This allows still unresolved legal questions to claim the right to use the classic formula of cold dead fingers and hot legal issues. Below are my top ten list but I would be interested to hear your own proposals.

10. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY GAY MARRIAGE LICENSE

9. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY GAY HUSBAND

8. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY INTERNET PORN

7. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY BARE ARMS

6. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY FOIS GRAS

5. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY SUV

4. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF HABEAS CORPUS

3. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY HIGH-FLUSH TOILET

2. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY FREE MUSIC DOWNLOADS

1. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY DETAINEE