Cold Dead Finger Bumper Sticker Contest

With the final victory of the NRA in securing recognition of an individual right of gun ownership, it will now be time to retire that classic American icon: the “You Will Have to Peel My Cold Dead Fingers From My Gun” Bumper Sticker. This allows still unresolved legal questions to claim the right to use the classic formula of cold dead fingers and hot legal issues. Below are my top ten list but I would be interested to hear your own proposals.

10. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY GAY MARRIAGE LICENSE

9. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY GAY HUSBAND

8. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY INTERNET PORN

7. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY BARE ARMS

6. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY FOIS GRAS

5. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY SUV

4. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF HABEAS CORPUS

3. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY HIGH-FLUSH TOILET

2. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY FREE MUSIC DOWNLOADS

1. YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF MY DETAINEE

14 thoughts on “Cold Dead Finger Bumper Sticker Contest”

  1. India’s murder rate is very similar to the US…worse if you are jewish or a rape victim…

  2. I worked with a man from India for a period of time as he was here on a work permit.

    India is a tight gun control country.

    I asked him who has firearms in India.

    He responded: “The police, the military, and of course the criminals, nobody else”……

  3. What is amazing is that we have FOUR numbskulls on the Supreme Court that obviously do not have a clue as to its meaning.

    This 5 to 4 decision has invigorated Conservatives to the point that the RNC says donations skyrocketed today.

  4. “you’ll have to pry my cold dead nicotine-stained fingers off my cigarette.”

  5. You will have to pry Exxon-Mobil’s cold dead fingers off of its Iraqi oil rights.

  6. “YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY MY COLD DEAD FINGERS OFF HABEAS CORPUS”

    That one’s a bit graphic when you translate it.

  7. A Note from the Desk of Dick Cheney…

    You can have my executive, (or is that legislative?) privilege when you pry it from the cold dead finger of the minion I designate to donate it from.

  8. How about “You can have my political catchphrase when you pry it off my cold dead bumper?”

  9. Ok, I’m game. How about “You can have my brain-dead wife when you pry her from my cold, dead fingers”?

    In poor taste?

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