Do Not Assume the Position: Florida Police Taser Naked Man Walking a Dog

Tallahassee police tasered a naked 40-year-old man walking his dog. The man did not respond immediately to their commands and was considered a potential danger to officers. It appears that naked men are universally viewed as imminent dangers by officers given another such case out of Wichita.

The man was spotted by a cruiser in his walk in the buff. When asked about his non-attire, he reportedly told the officer that “Allah told me to watch a Bruce Willis movie and walk the dog.”

Obviously, anyone suggesting an instruction from God to watch Bruce Willis is unbalanced and dangerous. It appears, however, that he would not be “The Last Man Standing.” Besides, everyone knows that Allah prefers Omar Sharif films.

A spokesman said that “He was obviously having some sort of emotional distress. It was unfortunate we had to use the Taser . . . It was the only way we could subdue him without having to hurt him.”

This is not the only case of a naked threat requiring a taser, see here.

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