City Council Asks Tenants to Stop Locking Sheds to Allow Less Damage During Burglaries

The Bristol City Council has finally acted in response to a rash of burglaries of council-owned sheds: it has asked tenants to stop using locks because burglars often damage the doors to get inside. The National Criminal Association applauds the act as a needed reform where the government and burglars can work together in a productive fashion.

The City Council’s ‘Don’t Use a Padlock’ initiative does have critics, but the government insists that it will save money in the long run. It tells tenants: “Don’t padlock your shed; it can save the shed being damaged if someone does try to get into it.” Brilliant. You cannot have a break-in if you are not locked out. It is more of a “come-in” than a break-in.

Next week, the city council will be wiping out bank robbery with the use of shoe-box safety deposit boxes left each night on the curb.

All of this is what hobos have long sung about as the Utopia of the train-hopping set:

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain’t no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I’m a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

I’ll see you all this coming fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains

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