Big Eatrs: Defense Department Developing Robots Which Can Feed on Dead Bodies

Next time you think of kicking that lawn mower, you might want to reconsider. The Defense Department is funding the development of a new line of robots that will be powered by eating organic material on a battlefield, including human bodies. The Robotic Technology Inc.’s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR ) may confuse programmers from foodstuffs, but they can operate without being refueled to operate their steam engine.

I would like to be the first to welcome our carnivorous robotic overlords. I have already seen the future of such inventions and I want to make nice nice:

EATR “can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable.” Ok, they are not designed to feed on human bodies, but I just want to cover my biomass before the overlords get a hankering for humans.

Of course, humans foodstuffs may not simply be robot fuel:

It is not clear where big eatrs might prefer Chinese or Italian or simply eating out generally. It certainly brings a new meaning to Beef Wellington if the dish is not only named after but composed of the honoree. Yet, the eatrs appear to view bodies as more of a form of human sushi — best eaten raw with any other form of fuel.

Frankly, I was surprised that this was not the work of the good people at Halliburton were taxpayers cannot simply pay for such war machines but served as their fuel. Perfect balance of nature.

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