JONATHAN TURLEY

Notice: Programming Interruption On Saturday For End Of World

We will be suspending blogging today due to the end of the world as predicted by Christian writer David Meade. While Meade is reportedly now hedging his bets on whether we may survive on September 23rd, I have already told my classes that they may disregard the remainder of the term syllabus.   I know that the end may come as something of a bummer for many. However, as stated in Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, “if life seems jolly rotten, there is something you’ve forgotten.” There are ten good reasons to welcome the apocalypse.

Of course, NASA is saying the world will not end because there is no Planet X (or Niburu) but that is what the government always says and we have a movie proving its existence.  After all, who are you going to believe a bunch of pointy headed scientists or a world-renown Christian conspiracy writer.  Besides even NASA agrees that the Earth will die eventually, so we are just quibbling over a few billion years. They just want it to die on their own schedule and terms . . . space bureaucrats.

For my part, I intend to go out with a smile on my lips and a presidential tweet saying “I told you aliens were dangerous. End of the World. Sad.”

So here is the list:

10. The Chicago Bears will finally finish a season with only two losses.

9. No one will ever have to Keep Up With The Kardasians again.

8. The last copy of Muscrat Love by Captain & Tennille will finally be eradicated.

7. The Green Bay Packers are going with us.

6. The Special Counsel investigation will finally come to a conclusion.

5. I was running out of face-saving excuses for not taking the boys to see the horror film “It.”

4. Hillary Clinton will finally have a real reason why she is not president other than herself.

3. Chris Christie will likely be reclining on the beach at the time

2. Gridlock, bedazzled jeans, dabbing, twerk videos, and Kanye West all come to an end on the same day.

  1. The last episode of The View is finally here.