We will be suspending blogging today due to the end of the world as predicted by Christian writer David Meade. While Meade is reportedly now hedging his bets on whether we may survive on September 23rd, I have already told my classes that they may disregard the remainder of the term syllabus. I know that the end may come as something of a bummer for many. However, as stated in Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, “if life seems jolly rotten, there is something you’ve forgotten.” There are ten good reasons to welcome the apocalypse.
Of course, NASA is saying the world will not end because there is no Planet X (or Niburu) but that is what the government always says and we have a movie proving its existence. After all, who are you going to believe a bunch of pointy headed scientists or a world-renown Christian conspiracy writer. Besides even NASA agrees that the Earth will die eventually, so we are just quibbling over a few billion years. They just want it to die on their own schedule and terms . . . space bureaucrats.
For my part, I intend to go out with a smile on my lips and a presidential tweet saying “I told you aliens were dangerous. End of the World. Sad.”
So here is the list:
10. The Chicago Bears will finally finish a season with only two losses.
9. No one will ever have to Keep Up With The Kardasians again.
8. The last copy of Muscrat Love by Captain & Tennille will finally be eradicated.
7. The Green Bay Packers are going with us.
6. The Special Counsel investigation will finally come to a conclusion.
5. I was running out of face-saving excuses for not taking the boys to see the horror film “It.”
4. Hillary Clinton will finally have a real reason why she is not president other than herself.
3. Chris Christie will likely be reclining on the beach at the time
2. Gridlock, bedazzled jeans, dabbing, twerk videos, and Kanye West all come to an end on the same day.
- The last episode of The View is finally here.
65 thoughts on “Notice: Programming Interruption On Saturday For End Of World”
The resurrection of the Ninth Amendment. The day that happens, this world will have come to an end.
Several humans died yesterday.
“Futurist” “Christians” flunked pre-college grammar. A “futurist” is one who thinks the second coming of Christ (“parousia”) still lies in the future. Every form/definition of the word “you” in Mathew 24 is prohibits the theology of futurism.
The pronoun “you” solely refers to one or more of the persons hearing Jesus’ words in the 1st C AD. Which means either one or more of those persons who heard Christ speak in the 1st C AD walk the earth alive today, or Jesus’ “parousia” occurred during their lifetime. Till someone proves they are 2k+ years old, futurism is fail.
Take a look at it, with a dictionary nearby. Next time you meet a “Christian” futurist, ask him to read Mathew 24 to you, then toss him a dictionary and ask him why his “theology” requires he make up non-existent word definitions.
Christ’s parousia occurred in 70 AD when Nero destroyed the Ioudaios (wrongly translated “Jew” or Jewish, a word that did not exist prior to 1775 AD) temple. “666” correlates to the numbers of the letters in the Greek alphabet spelling the name “Nero”…1st C Christians used code words to avoid the death sentence.
NT Ioudaios “believer” language is the same as that of their OT forebears, meaning it is filled with metaphors. No where does the NT refer to the “end of time,” but rather than “end of the age,” meaning the Mosaic era.
To modern people who self-identify as OT “Ioudaios,” kindly refer them to Dueteronomy which states Yaweh’s male people have two choices: visit the sacrificial temple (not a modern synagogue) twice yearly or be “cast out to the darkness,” “cast out of the city” which means one thing: the death penalty.
Did he mention the time zone?
Trump will have no reason to show jun un he is boss, and the Korean lunatic won’t have to test his nuclear weapon
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I’m enjoying this! How about every Friday we each contribute one?
As the boss, our Professor, won for me this week with no more The View.
Here’s your winner:
“1) End of the world predictions finally end.”
– Darren Smith
I still like no more View, even though I don’t watch it. Somewhere on FOX they use a clip and I can’t escape it.
What’s the View?
I rest my case.
“9. No one will ever have to Keep Up With The Karadasians again.”
I think you misspelled Kardassians.
The EOW stuff is getting a big boost from Rabbi Cahn, and his book The Harbinger, and now his new one, The Paradigm. Which, on the bright side, has my mom and sister planning to buy the survival food buckets at Sam’s and stash them at their houses. They think my father is nuts with his doomsday planning, and me, too, for mine.
Which, as I tell them, even if Gabriel isn’t about to blow his trump, is a smart thing to do. I think everybody needs a year or so of food/water stashed away in the closet. My goodness, the canned goods can be rotated out with current consumption so there is no waste there.
Just be careful to keep it to yourself, and don’t tell your neighbors. Plus, be sure you have plenty of ammo.
And don’t tell your neighbors or friends.
Five billion years or so from now, the sun will expand to swallow the earth, and the Andromeda galaxy will collide with the Milky Way. So, in the long run, what does it matter?
We’re all still here. Surprise! Surprise!
Kimmi and Donni did not fire da nukes.
Too busy tweeting?
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