Townspeople Hunt Down the Wizard of Land O’ Lakes

This week, the good town of Land O’ Lakes, Florida is free of the scourge of a wizard. While such hunt were once led by pitchfork carrying townsfolk, this important civic action was taken by concerned parents who discovered the magical tendencies of substitute teacher (and fulltime wizard) Jim Piculas in Pasco County School District.

Piculas inadvertently disclosed his dark secret in a class when he showed children how he could make a toothpick disappear and reappear at a middle school. It proved the toothpick that broke the wizard’s back. The District supervisor of substitute teachers (and hunter of wizards) Pat Sinclair, who oversees substitute teachers in the Pasco County School District, called Piculas to tell him that he was fired, explaining “You’ve been accused of wizardry.”

Piculas insisted “It’s not black magic. It’s a toothpick.” Of course, that is what all the dark wizards say. Lord Voldemort started as a substitute teacher with a napkin trick. If the good townsfolk had not acted, Death Eaters would have teaching Gym and science classes. The question is how the people at the Improper Use of Magic Office missed his wizard disguised as a muggle teacher. Piculas is expected now to pulled before the Pasco County School District Wizengamot and sent to Azkaban prison.

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