2008 Extended By One Second: Where is the Outrage?

Now, it is not because New Year’s Eve is my anniversary, but I am deeply aggrieved that 2008 has been extended by one second. This “leap second” was added by the ultimate big brother agency, the United States Naval Observatory under the dubious claim that it had to match the time to the Earth’s slowing spin on its axis. How do you intend to spend your unplanned 2008 second?

The extra second corresponds to 6:59:59 p.m. EST (23:59:59 GMT). This is the 24th second to be added since 1972. That is almost half a minute in my lifetime alone!

When Leslie and I eloped on New Year’s eve, I agreed to a standard and constant measurement of the years that would follow. This is the ultimate bait and switch. I have been forced into additional time in marital bliss without consent. It was bad enough to be married by a guy in an office filled with pictures of Dan Quayle after waiting with two clearly unwilling teens in a shotgun marriage. Now, I find that the government is extending the year to prolong my marital status.

What makes this so frustrating is that our anniversary is already mired in numerical controversy. I insist on counting eight years of courtship — making this our 19th anniversary. Leslie insists on only counting the legally enforceable contractual years — making this our 11th anniversary. Now, we have to deal with how to count the added second.

I intend to protest tonight by celebrating New Year’s at the originally determined period. The rest of you can be shills and suckers for the USNO.

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