I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Write Myself A Lawsuit: New Zealand Mall To Use Manilow Tunes to Punish Loitering Teens

For many months, denizens of this blog have mocked my crusade against exposure to Barry Manilow songs (Friends Don’t Let Friends Listen to Manilow). Now, the New Zealand city of Christchurch is going to play Manilow songs to drive off teenagers from a mall area.

Central City Business Association manager Paul Lonsdale: “The intention is to change the environment in a positive way … so nobody feels threatened or intimidated. I did not say Barry Manilow is a weapon of mass destruction.”

He obviously has never listened to Copacabana (at the copa) or I Write the Songs.

Obviously, the Eighth Amendment cannot apply to New Zealand but I am personally prepared to take the case of these teens to the World Court. Even the John Yoo memos rule out the use of Manilow interrogation techniques.

These teens must be prepared for the worst:

What’s a nice boy like me
Doin’ in a place that never closes?
I can hardly hear ya’
Holy moses Lookin’ so sad

For the full story, click here.