The Real Thing: Germany Bans Red Bull Cola After Finding Traces of Cocaine

Germany is considering a nationwide ban on the high-energy drink Red Bull Cola after traces of cocaine were found in it. The officials of the states of Hesse and North-Rhine Westphalia have stopped the sales until the drink can be produced sans real coke — to the disappointment of many no doubt.

The drink contains a de-cocainized extract of coca leaf. It can now be purchased from guys with cans taped with duct tape around their midsection as the airport.

This certainly explains why Red Bull “gives you wings.”

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