Site icon JONATHAN TURLEY

Assault with a Slimey Weapon: Florida Man Accused of Attacking People With Jellyfish

Jellyfish ArrestI am pretty sure that this is a unique crime. Keith Edward Marriott, 41, is charged with repeatedly pretending to drown in Madeira Beach, Florida and then throwing jellyfish at people who came to help him.

Marriott is accused of pretending to drown and then floating back to the top of the water to draw his jellyfish targets. He is charged with disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon (a pocket knife in his shorts). Marriott works for a brokerage firm but it is not clear whether customers are required to remain behind protective glass during visits.

Given the existence of jellyfish for 650 million years, one has to wonder about the advances of Darwinism represented by Mr. Marriott. I can only imagine the thoughts of the jellyfish: “Great, I float hundreds of miles, avoid being made into an appetizer by Japanese chefs, dodge ocean sunfish and sea turtles, avoid motor boats, and make it to the Florida shore only to have this crazed biped use me as a weapon.”

I am not sure about the concealed weapon charge if it was a true pocketknife but the disorderly charge certainly seems to fit. I am not sure why he was not charged with assault or battery. It might be difficult to make out a jellyfish as a weapon (as opposed to a swordfish or hammerhead shark).

The only precedent for such a case would be the clip below:

We do have a film however of Marriott that might be used at this trial:

For the story, click here.

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