George Bush: Motivational Speaker

George Bush appears to have finally found his calling. According to this report, he will start his new career this month as a motivational speaker with “Get Motivated!” (the exclamation point is part of the official name) in Fort Worth, Texas.

Bush will speak for twenty minutes to motivate an audience that will pay $4.95 a person. People are hoping he will show how a little effort can destroy a main political party, strip a nation of all credibility and sympathy, and commit a series of officially sanctioned war crimes. That takes motivation.

Tamara Lowe, the Co-Founder and Executive Vice President of Get Motivated Seminars, Inc., has confirmed Bush’s new calling. You really have to see this cheesy website to fully appreciate the irony, here. The website describes the husband-wife team Peter and Tamara Lowe ” as the dynamic duo” of motivation. I guess their proper title is motivationologists. They promise:

Dazzling pyrotechnics, live music and stunning special effects set the stage . . . in the arenas of time management, leadership, goal achievement, sales training, negotiation, finances, investing, relationships, health, spiritual success, business strategies, motivation, communication skills and much more!

I personally want Bush to do my star chart and guide me on my spiritual success.

Below is the last motivational session Bush gave to unmotivated individuals:

He also has a fantastic diet and fitness plan involving stress positions and gruel. Nine out of ten detainees report rapid weight loss and loss of appetite.

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