Site icon JONATHAN TURLEY

God is My Co-Agent: TSA Employee Announces That He Is God at LAX

If you are tired of dealing with TSA employees who act like God Almighty, you may want to stay out of LAX where one agent announced that he is in fact God and his orders divine.

An unnamed TSA agent was arrested this week in Terminal One (the other terminals are for lesser divinities in the “City of Angels”) after he was acting “erratically.” The agent had just gotten off duty when he allegedly announced “I am god, I’m in charge.” That would certainly make it difficult to quibble over whether you really have more than three ounces in this container.

The TSA has also found that agents were using drugs during parties at work. Four workers have been identified.

What is really alarming is that this recession and unemployment crisis has even forced God to get a second job. He naturally gravitated to a position of unchecked authority with an agency with data banks tracking all of humanity. In many ways, the whole Eden story was a case of monitoring that led to expulsion (an early no-fly listing for Edenists).

Passengers are known to react a bit more readily when told “you will be delayed and potentially damned” if they do not use a one-quart bag for any liquids or gels.

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