Hubba Bubba: Hamas Accuses Israel of Lacing Gum With Stimulants to Corrupt Palestinian Youth

Hamas has accused Israeli intelligence of another fiendish plot to undermine the Palestinian cause. The weapon of mass cultural destruction? Gum. Hamas accuses Israel of sneaking in chewing gum that increases the sex drive of Palestinian kids in order to “corrupt the young.”

Officials say that they have found two stimulants in the gum and forced Palestinian distributors to admit that they are working with agents of “the Zionist intelligence services.” My assumption is that the gum is not actually called “Zionist Conspiracy Gum” but rather something more catchy like Hamas Hubba Bubba.

The officials became suspicious when a Palestinian man filed a complaint with the government that his daughter had experienced “dubious side effects” after chewing the gum. Whatever the girl did, she blamed the gum. Immediately every kid in the neighborhood had the same response as the lady in Katz Delicatessen in “When Harry Met Sally”:

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