Mayor Allegedly Urinates on Tree . . . Then Defends Himself With Comparison to Jesus

North Shore Mayor Andrew Williams in New Zealand appears to be an expert in moving things rapidly from bad to worse. When confronted over allegations that he drank heavily at a restaurant and then urinated on a tree, Williams reportedly defended himself by comparing the accusations to the crucifixion of Christ.

In an email, Williams wrote “Yes two blokes got crucified this week … and both will most certainly rise from the dead to come back to haunt a few people!!” This was sent on Easter Sunday, April 4th, so the other “bloke” would be Jesus Christ.

I may have missed that passage about Christ urinating on trees when I was a student at Quigley North Preparatory Seminary. It may be the missing Gospel according to Bluto Blutarsky.

He may be confused. When Jesus said in Matthew 14:22-33, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid,” he was speaking of walking on water.

There is of course Revelations 22-1:

And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb. In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life

In the meantime, Williams is thinking of running for the Mayor of “Super City” New Zealand. Indeed, this may have simply been a way to mark his territory like other large mammals. The voters may, however, want to keep him off their lawns. On the other hand, he is useful in a drought.

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