North Shore Mayor Andrew Williams in New Zealand appears to be an expert in moving things rapidly from bad to worse. When confronted over allegations that he drank heavily at a restaurant and then urinated on a tree, Williams reportedly defended himself by comparing the accusations to the crucifixion of Christ.
In an email, Williams wrote “Yes two blokes got crucified this week … and both will most certainly rise from the dead to come back to haunt a few people!!” This was sent on Easter Sunday, April 4th, so the other “bloke” would be Jesus Christ.
I may have missed that passage about Christ urinating on trees when I was a student at Quigley North Preparatory Seminary. It may be the missing Gospel according to Bluto Blutarsky.
He may be confused. When Jesus said in Matthew 14:22-33, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid,” he was speaking of walking on water.
There is of course Revelations 22-1:
And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb. In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life
In the meantime, Williams is thinking of running for the Mayor of “Super City” New Zealand. Indeed, this may have simply been a way to mark his territory like other large mammals. The voters may, however, want to keep him off their lawns. On the other hand, he is useful in a drought.
11 thoughts on “Mayor Allegedly Urinates on Tree . . . Then Defends Himself With Comparison to Jesus”
I am not much in the fig liking class myself. Maybe I ate too many growing up as a kid. We had Fig tree in our yard. Made good missiles because they solid. The sweetgum balls were better but they needed to be soaked first to get the target good. Then they hurt like hell. Almost as good as baby pine cones soaked in goo and sand. Now that was a missile. Yes, they could break a car window.
I wonder how the Turley Trebuchet would treat these as defensive warrior mechanisms?
maybe Mapplethorpe was prescient when he created Pisschrist? (sorry for the offensive reference)
Blessed are the weak of bladder for they shall inherit the crusifixtion.
God hates figs. Just ask Fred Phelps.
A. Y. said:
There is a very strange story in the Bible about Jesus and a fig tree. He got angry at it because it was not bearing fruit, so he destroyed it. Jesus evidently has a thing about fig trees. 😀
So is he the one who help originate the saying”don’t P@#&* on my shoulder and tell me its raining?”
Fig Tree, you say?
Jesus H. Christ is all I could think when I read this:
Someone should be drawn and quartered. It’s just so evil, it boggles the mind.
It must have been a fig tree.
Oh brother ……. Here come da judge (I know he didn’t originate the phrase but he did it well)
That was Flip Wilson, that pisses me off. Lol.
He should have said, “The devil made me do it.”
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