JONATHAN TURLEY

Tired of being pushed around by the kids on your school bus? Tired of being called the slow as mustard? Well, then this bus is perfect for you, my friend. It does 367 mph and leaves the little darlings embedded in their seats.

Paul Stender and Indy Boys Inc. of Indianapolis took a bus and fitted it with a full tank of 150 gallons of fuel and the jet engine of a Phantom fighter plane. The result was spectacular.

Stender insists that part of the reason for his conversaion was “to keep kids off drugs. Jets are hot, drugs are not.” Of course, most teenagers just want to get high and take a ride in the jet bus. Indeed, the Magic School Bus song already has a certain Janis Joplin quality to it:

Cruisin’ on down Main Street
You’re relaxed and feelin’ good
Next thing that you know you’re seein’
Octopus in the neighborhood!

Surfin’ on a sound wave
Swingin’ through the stars
Take a left at your intestine
Take your second right past Mars.

On THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
Navigate a nostril
Climb on THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
Spank a plankton, too
On our Magic School Bus
Raft a river of lava
On THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
Such a fine thing to do!

So strap your bones right to the seat
Come on in and don’t be shy —
Just to make your day complete
You might get baked into a pie

On THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS…
Step inside — it’s a wilder ride!
Come on — ride on THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!

Fortunately, it can only go about a quarter of a mile before using up all the gas.

Of course, there is always the Yellow School Monster Bus:

Source: Telegraph