Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest


by Gene Howington, Guest Blogger

Every so often a news story catches the eye for no other reason than the blatantly bad decision making and stupidity that went in to creating it.  Submitted for your approval are three stories of just such a nature.  I leave it to you, dear reader, to decide which one was dumb, dumber and dumbest . . .

“They stole what?”

In some respect, you almost have to give the criminal in this case points for creativity in deciding what to steal. Almost. On Tuesday, December 11, 2012, Rachel L. McCarty of Reddick, Florida, returned home to find out she was a victim of theft. She didn’t even have to go into the house to see she was a victim.

Her driveway had been stolen.

Upon returning home from running errands on Tuesday, she felt a big “bump.” Upon exiting the vehicle, McCarty saw that over 300 square feet of concrete pavers were missing. “In my 22 years with the Marion County Sheriff’s Office, I’ve never seen someone’s driveway stolen.” said Capt. Eric Rawls of the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.

Here’s where the stupidity comes in to play.

On Thursday, December 13, 2012, the alleged thief returned to get the remaining pavers.  Apparently he didn’t think anyone would have noticed the missing driveway and might be on the look out. Police arrested Anthony O. Jones, 49, and charged him with grand theft. “I can’t believe they came back. I’m glad someone was caught,” said McCarty.

“Is it better to give than to receive?”

In this season of giving, you should always remember that you often get back what you give in kind if not specifically.

In October, Dallas attorney Tom Corea was lawyer disbarred and charged with four felonies for allegedly stealing from clients. How could things get worse? By his own hand and other body parts apparently. Corea was out on bail when he was evicted for non-payment of rent and ordered to leave his office space by the end of the month. When the realtor managing the building showed up for a post-move inspection, he found Corea had not only failed to return the property in reasonable condition, but had made some most undesirable additions.  The property manager said the office was in a state of “complete destruction” including penis graffiti on every single wall (some of them named Doug in an apparent reference to the Doug Molny – the realtor in question), feces and urine on the floor, and the name of an Arizona judge who found him in contempt of court in an unrelated case scrawled on the walls along with a derogatory message and the judge’s phone number. In this season where family and friends are appreciated, Corea’s girlfriend was briefly called to testify until prosecutors halted her testimony when they decided she was likely an accomplice. A relationship based upon the solid foundation of a mutual love of vandalism is bound to last. Corea was sent to jail for violating the terms of his release pending further charges. There is no word yet as to whether or when his girlfriend would be joining him in the clink, but regardless, they are likely not to be sharing the rest of the holidays together.

“Can I get a note for my boss?”

Everyone has had to ask this question at the doctor’s office at one time or another. Sometimes the doctor will even fib a little to get the patient a bit more recovery time. It’s not every day you hear of someone asking for a note from the police department though.

When Demarco Alonzo Thomas flew in to Tucson International Airport, it was the third time he had transported money from his home state of North Carolina to Tucson for drug dealers. Per the arrangement, Thomas would receive a text on his cell phone about an upcoming trip and pick up a suitcase full of cash and a prepaid debit card to purchase airline tickets. He was paid $1000 per trip. Proving that the third time is not always the charm, Thomas received a threatening phone call when the drug dealer’s count came up $20,000 short. The naturally fearful Thomas returned to the airport the next morning and called police, explained his situation and asked for a phony receipt to document that the money had been seized and not stolen by him. As if getting busted and having the money seized incident to an arrest wouldn’t be just as bad for him with his employers.

The police found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.  When officers asked Thomas to sign paperwork stating they really were going to seize the cash, he refused. Thomas was arrested on suspicion of money laundering and racketeering. The well-intentioned but bumbling courier will now be spending the holidays in jail where he will no doubt be out of reach from his drug dealer bosses.

There they are, folks. Dumb, dumber, dumbest. Who wins?

What do you think?

Source(s): Ocala.com, Newser.com, crimeblog.dallasnews.comArizona Daily Star

~submitted by Gene Howington, Guest Blogger

33 thoughts on “Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest

  1. Gene,

    This was fun and a needed respite. I nominate Mr. Thomas for dumbest, with Mr. Jones coming in second. My reasoning is that the attorney seems to be batsh*t crazy and on a downward spiral that I suspect is fueled by either drugs or alcohol, so less dumb than uncaring about consequences.

    As for Mr. Thomas, while he is dumbest in this group, one can only wonder about the intelligence of his employers entrusting him with large sums of cash. I predict a short life for him during incarceration and an equally short existence for the person who hired him.

  2. The lawyer. He’s supposedly the most educated (unless he went to Liberty University law school) and should have known better.

  3. The driveway thief … hands down and if for no other reason than the amount of labor involved compared to the value of the product.

    Unless, of course, there is a thriving black-market out there for used pavers and I, favoring asphalt, am unaware of it.

  4. The lawyer reminds me of an incident that happened about thirty or forty years ago. Seems these folks were renting a house which was badly in need of paint, both inside and out. They badgered the owner for many months, only to get vague promises and no action. Finally, the renters asked the owner if it would be alright if they bought the paint and painted it themselves. Of course, the owner thought that was a great idea and wrote them a letter giving them permission to paint the place to suit themselves.

    They painted it black inside and out, on every surface. Then moved out.

  5. 1) “Can I get a note for my boss?”….”Stupid is as Stupid Does”
    2) “Is it better to give than to receive?”…. I’m Shocked!…I had No Idea that “CRACKER JACKS” is putting ATTORNEY Licenses in their Boxes
    3) “Is it better to give than to receive?”…… Obviously this Character took a course in “IDIOCY”

  6. @ Otteray Scribe…..

    I have Also Seen the Same thing happen many years Ago!…. and to that : Stupid is as Stupid Does !

  7. 1) Driveway: Dumb: Only one stupid act, returning for more.
    2) Fool & Guido’s Money: Dumber. Two stupid acts. Risking freedom to go to the police, risking life by ripping off the mob.
    3) Penile Artistry: Dumbest. Inherently stupid by nature. That is prone to stupidity on a continual basis, yet supposedly having enough intelligence to have passed the bar, making him doubly contemptable.

  8. David Blauw said: “The woman, she left her driveway unattended AND unlocked. She may just as well left a sign saying TAKE ME.” Hilarious. My coffee nearly exited through my nose!

  9. Mike,

    As you know, I had started a much heavier piece for this weekend. Considering the news week though, I figured a little levity was in order. There is no better way to stave off tears than a little laughter.

  10. That was pretty funny, David.

    For one, I’ve been locking my driveway for years. Even when I’m home. Living in a place like New Orleans tends to make one overly security conscious.

  11. nah, the paver has to go back to where he got the first load of bricks because if he gets more from somewhere else they won’t match.
    that’s only dumb

    the money transporter IMHO gets the prize. i would like to hear that conversation with the cops. you want a receipt for what?

    the lawyer just sounds like an a$$hole

  12. There was another funny one a couple weeks ago. A guy in Texas went to rob a house, and was kept inside his truck by the man and his son at the house who held him there at riflepoint. The would-be-robber called 9-1-1!

  13. junction, you really think these guys could figure out how to breed? they might be able to do it by accident but I’m not sure they would understand cause and effect.

  14. betty & junction:

    Unfortunately for us, billions of years of evolution has ensured that intelligence is not a requisite part of breeding. Microbes do it, as do the stupid.

  15. The NRA suggests putting land-mine-type automatic fire-arms over, under, around and through your driveway to discourage crime.

  16. QUOTE “In October, Dallas attorney Tom Corea was lawyer disbarred and charged with four felonies for allegedly stealing from clients.”

    WHOA! Man!! What a noob mistake! Lawyers can’t start stealing from their “clients” until they get ELECTED!!

  17. Cheeze! A grand for just shepherding a suitcase across country? Where do I sign up? I’m bright enough not to steal from guys in that business & could use the extra cash.

    What surprises me most is that TSA wouldn’t find that cash & either leave him 20k short or turn him in

  18. Dumb – Demarco Alonzo Thomas of “Can I get a note for my boss?”
    Dumber – Anthony O. Jones of “They stole what?”
    Dumberst – attorney Tom Corea of “Is it better to give than to receive?”

  19. Gene & Darren,
    Can you imagine what prison life is like for the perp?

    What the transcript does not make clear, is that Curtescine is, shall we say, a “healthy” woman. She was on the floor hanging on to his jewels with one hand and his staff of life with the other, twisting in opposite directions as hard as she could. He had to drag her that way until he could reach the phone and call the police to come rescue him. He probably is still walking funny.

Comments are closed.