Antonio Judd really really wanted a hot dog. He grabbed a dog from a person on the street in Worcester and will now pay his debt to society with eighteen months in jail.
Judd has a prior record of assault and was found with a pellet gun — but the hot dog was long gone. The forensic “splatter” evidence included mustard spilled on the shirt of the victim.
The victim was sitting under a tree at 6:45 p,m. on August 12th when the offense occurred. Judd reportedly walked up and mumbled, “Eat that other dog?”
“Yes,” the man replied.
Lifting up his shirt, Mr. Judd showed what appeared to be a handgun, the police report said.
“I’m going to eat it,” Mr. Judd responded.
It can happen that fast. One second you are enjoying a cool evening with your hot dog and the next second it is gone with your culinary hopes and dreams.
This is not unique. As discussed earlier, Georgia Assistant District Attorney William Michael Olson, 36, resigned from his position as a prosecutor with Clarke County, Georgia after being arrested for a drunken fight with a hot dog vendor. The vendor says that Olson ate a hot dog and then tried to leave without paying for it, leading to a tussle.
Olson was arrested on misdemeanor charges of public intoxication and theft of services. He was released on a $500 bond. The fight occurred at 1:25 a.m. and when stopped by police Olson claimed not to know anything about the hot dog.
What is a fascinating forensic link is that Olson was implicated by the same splatter pattern evidence: mustard and ketchup on his shirt. Hardened hot dog thieves often forget about the incriminating condiments.
Olson, however, does not appear to have been hit with any jail time while Judd, as a repeated offender, will go away for a year and a half.
He can, of course, be sued in a tort action, though conversion would seem a better claim than trespass to chattel and replevin.
Armour hot dogs may have to make the following alterations to its slogan:
“HOT DOGS, Ar-mour HOT DOGS
What kind of kids love Ar-mour HOT DOGS?
Big kids, little kids, kids who climb on rocks
Fat kids, skinny kids, even kids with
chicken pox Love HOT DOGS,
Kids with records and kids with heat
Ar-mour HOT DOGS
The dogs kids love to eat!”
What is really amazing is that someone would do this for a Massachusetts hot dog when everyone knows that the best dawgs are found in Chicago. One could only imagine what he would have done for a Wolfy’s or Flukey’s dog.
For the Massachusetts story, click here.
I wonder: If Judd had been a first-time hot dog heister, might he have gotten off on a lighter charge–wiener misdemeanor?
did Larena Bobbit do that much time for a similar crime?
Elaine M. : wiener misdemeanor
oh yeah, that’s a winner!
He had one final heist planned, the big score, enough to retire on…
I’m a hot dog snob, I never felt ketchup had a place on a hot dog! Call me crazy…
That was a very pricey hot dog..
Billy:
as Clint Eastwood said in a Dirty Harry movie..”it’s un-American to put ketchup on a hot dog”
Loved it Byron!, loved it! was that Dirty Harry or Magnum Force?
billy:
I think it was Magnum Force, wasn’t that the one where the young rogue cops were killing criminals and tried to get Clint to join them?
If I remember correctly he was at a crime scene with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background near the beginning of the movie.
Billy 1, September 29, 2009 at 5:01 pm
I’m a hot dog snob, I never felt ketchup had a place on a hot dog! Call me crazy…
You so crazy…..
Sudden Impact
The proper way to prepare a hot dog: Get Kogels Franks, steam them until they almost split. Get fresh potato buns, steam for 15 seconds in hotdog steamer. Get a dinner plate, take buns open and franks out of steamer and place bun on plate with the same opened at the sliced part. Place Frank in center of buns, with equal measures of buns on both sides. Get ketchup, mustard: place equal amounts on both sides. Get fresh homemade thick chili or wolf brand will do, no beans, warm just until boiling. Pour on plate of franks and buns. Slice up 1 med onion and 4 jalapenos and 1 and 1.5 cups of extra charp (sharp) cheddar cheese. Place cheese on top of chili and onions and jalapenos on top. Get knife and fork cut to bite size eat and enjoy. Repeat until gone.
Additional toppings and variations may include sauerkraut. Prior to ingesting additional gastro-intestinal notify neighbors and fire department as fumes may become toxic. Family optional as they may deserve the wrath of methane.
So yes, Billy, Hotdogs/franks may be eaten with ketchup.
You forgot the Cheez Whiz.
I also forgot the dill or sweet relish as well. Geeze nal, cheez whiz? Ok, I am game.
Warning, do not agree to eat a stein of jalapenos in order to get free beer for a month if you have a date for the next day. The eating of the jalapenos was childs play, but the toxicity of the beer and jalapenos on an empty stomach the next day do not make for pleasant ruminations for a long lasting first date. For some reason or another they found it not so funny and wanted to go home early. Ah, the lessons we learn in life.
It sounds like a Michigan hotdog with Texas condiments or should I say “fixins”.
Ah the advantages of having traveled. Yes, indeed, the Flint Coney sauce ok. Need adventure in eating.
Who doesn’t enjoy Grade F (mostly circus animals) meat?
You guys and the “doggone”(no pun intended)video clips. Love the classic Harry Callahan, nice piece o’ work. By the way, I love a good “chili dog”, with “cornmeal” instead of frijoles in the chili, I’m allergic. I like legumes, legumes most decidedly don’t like me..
Never had a potato bun, my buddy turned me on to an “oatmeal bun”. Kinda weird and a little denser than I’m used to. Overall I love a “webers” bun. Nice processed wheat flour, devoid of most nutritional value, pure starch, but what the hell, when I eat a hot dog I eat it for taste not my waistline. Still has protein in it. Try a “belly-buster”. The gastronome in ‘you” should really love this. Pour canned chili, no beans into a cereal/salad bowl full of “fritos”, inhale until gone. Its’ an aneurysm in a “bowl”..
Bob,Esq. 1, September 29, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Who doesn’t enjoy Grade F (mostly circus animals) meat?
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Ever eaten sausage and enjoyed it? Chicken, luncheon meat? Never go to the factory. You’ll never eat again.
With that said, something has to be done with the meat. PETA People Eating Tasting Animals.
Billy 1, September 29, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Never had a potato bun, my buddy turned me on to an “oatmeal bun”.
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Yuck, but hey worth a try. Try Starbucks Oatmeal Rains Cookies.
___________________________________________
Try a “belly-buster”. The gastronome in ‘you” should really love this. Pour canned chili, no beans into a cereal/salad bowl full of “fritos”, inhale until gone. Its’ an aneurysm in a “bowl”..
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Well, try it with a scotch bonnet. You’ll know the cause of distress, if you can cool your mouth before it starts eking out your every pore. Oh yeah.
AY:
WE grew some scotch bonnets (habeneros) this year and they are some hot sons of guns. they make jalapenos seem like the tingle from a coke’s carbonation.
This lady I met at Cuca’s turned me onto a very small, HOT chili. It was “mucho fuego’ and burned a hole through my belly. It may have been the dreaded “scotch bonnett”. After I ate it, I began to sweat something fierce. No amount of “suds” could cool the fire in my belly. It was scary, I never played with those again…
I have to go along with Professor T. The best hot dogs are in Chicago and Flukey’s was a good choice. I also like Super Dawg hot dogs as well. And yes, I use ketchup on my hot dog!
If you ever get to Los Angeles try “Pinks”, great hot dogs. Also “In and Out Burger”, they make a truly legendary hamburger, try the chili-cheese fries “animal style”. Outasight..
A little note on peppers:
While scotch bonnets are generally hotter then habaneros, habaneros can actually get hotter. They have a scoville range of 100,000-500,000 units versus the 200,000-325,000 of scotch bonnets. Another heavy hitter is the african bird’s eye chili
(100,000-200,000).
For true indigestion, I suggest going to an authentic Indian restaurant, ordering one of the hot dishes. Then, take the waiter aside and tell them you want the “real hot” not the “white people hot.”
It seems obvious that the person has mental health issues.
Gyges:
that is great, we go to an Indian restaurant that has very few white people. I always thought they spiced up the food to keep us honky’s out, your post is confirmation.
aren’t habaneros the same thing as scotch bonnets?
Asafoetida, a spice common in Indian food, was used to treat Spanish influenza in the epidemic of 1918. It smells so bad, some call it devil’s dung.
Gyges: ghost chili
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_Jolokia_pepper
we’ve been growing habeneros for about 15 years, one year chipmunks ate all the leaves off the plants. Once I came home from work to find about 25-30 chilis gone from a plant in the house. I couldn’t figure out what happened. Later that night I heard banging in the kitchen and found the 3 month old kitten playing habanero hockey. I found the rest under the refrigerator.
You can get damn good hotdogs in every big city and in every state in the Union. Anybody who says the best hotdogs are in this city or that one is demonstrating their provincialism.
There are two peppers that are hotter than the scotch bonnet. I forget what they are but if they are deadly as the bonnet I want nothing to do with them save my digestive tract. A scotch bonnet is a cleansing experience.
AY:
naga jolokia pepper (English: king cobra chile)1X10^6 Scoville units
The Red Savina pepper is a cultivar of the habanero chile-6X10^5 Scoville units
Thai pepper-1X10^5 Scoville units (sissy pepper compared to the above)
The “great hot dog heist” inspired me to write a poem.
Wurst…Versed
Yellow mustard, ketchup, and relish—
The condiments we add to embellish
A naked frank…to enhance its flavor
Before we take a bite and savor
The luscious link in a toasted bun.
BUT
Don’t filch a frank when armed with a gun—
And eat it sloppily on the run.
Don’t be a gluttonous simpleton.
Don’t let that yellow mustard splatter!
Stealing dogs is a serious matter.
Before you grab that tasty wurst
Make sure you have a napkin first.
THEN
Tuck it under your chin and eat
And try to evade the cop on the beat.
Bryon,
In the spirit of Nal, the semi-divine editor to the gods:
“While scotch bonnets are generally hotter then habaneros…”
SB
“While scotch bonnets are generally hotter than other habaneros”
Gyges 1, September 30, 2009 at 11:56 am
Bryon,
In the spirit of Nal, the semi-divine editor to the gods:
“While scotch bonnets are generally hotter then habaneros…”
SB
“While scotch bonnets are generally hotter than other habaneros”
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Most uncharitable, most uncharitable. Now Gyges, you need to go to the black board and write 500 times. “I will not be jealous of nal, he has his work cut out for him.”
You see he is going to suffer with Buddha’s liver and AY’s Spleen. That should cure anyone. Don’t you know.
Nal, Jr. (Gyges):
thank you for the correktion, your ephorts to make my post inteeligible to al is gretly apresheated.
Byron,
I liked the new Bron98 icon. I take it you are less than enchanted with the works of Mr. Marx and Engels upon further review? lol
AY,
It was meant as a term of affection, both for Nal and those he edits.
Byron,
I was editing myself. You were correct that scotch bonnets are a type of habanero, I was adjusting my statement accordingly.
Buddha:
Actually they say some good things, I hate to admit it. But I think the fatal flaw with all these Utopian ideas is that they forget about human nature. From what I am reading it doesn’t sound like Marx or Engels were assholios and so they figured that most people are like them and would contribute to society. For whatever reason most people are not wired that way and so you end up with a small number of people doing the lions share of the work and after awhile they get tired and there goes your utopia, down the toilet.
I am reading another book about communism/socialism in this country in the early to late 19th century, the Owenites and Fouriers and assorted others that set up communal living arrangements, they all failed except the ones that rejected the communal approach. Humans are selfish and any system of government or economics must take that fact into account or fail. There is no Utopian society possible for most people due to this trait. Is it a failing probably but it cannot just be ignored.
Once I finish the book and history I will be able to give you a definitive answer on the avatar.
Gyges:
you are right, I said same as, they are not but in the same species.
I guess a Great Dane and a Yorkie are the same species, quite a broad variation in other words.
See Aristotle’s Categories for further clarification. (place little smiley face that I don’t know how to attach here)
Byron,
The smiley is just like in an e-mail : and ) together. WordPress will make the substitution.
it does?
damn!
thanks Buddha :>
Byron,
It’s a cultivar of Habaneros. The problem is that a lot of cooking reference put proper Habaneros and Scotch Bonnets in a blanket category that lots of times is refereed to simply as habanero. So a lot of cooks think of scotch bonnet as a subtype of habanero.
Elaine:
I love the poem. Great job.
erykah,
Thanks. I’m glad you liked my “Wurst…Versed.”