Culinary crimes and misdemeanors are becoming the rage. In Illinois, it is Jamaican-Chicken that proved the undoing of a judge. In Wisconsin, the culprit is a Jack Daniels steak that trapped Ian Baker, 23, in his fourth drunk driving charge.
Baker was ordered to take part in the Intoxicated Driver Intervention Program after he was arrested in July for DWI.
Baker registered a 0.07% blood alcohol level when he attended the program on Monday night. When confronted on the violation, he explained that he became intoxicated after eating a Jack Daniels steak the night before.
It appears that the caseworker is a vegan. He was booked in Sheboygan with misdemeanor bail jumping – a charge that carries a penalty of up to 9 months in jail.
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It’s late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a new chief in a modern society, he had never been taught all of the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’
‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’
‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’
‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’
‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.’
Remember this whenever you get advice from a government official!
Sounds like a case of the Delirium Tremens, or DT, which has taken down many a cold turkey.
Jack Daniels if you, please. Now I have heard about Prison Brew I guess he will too.
I guess he forgot to say hold the pickles ….